The many faces of Anna

If I could tackle Anna Wintour to the ground and shove this magical fortune cookie I prepared down her throat, then we could exchange bodies for one freaky Friday. There are many lavish perks and benefits to be gained by assuming her identity. However all the couture in the world still couldn't stack up to the best part about being Anna - having access to her full range of facial expressions. Once you've got these down pat, you're pretty much set for life.

Unabashed maternal pride and love


Tacit acknowledgment that this particular dead animal is doing a somewhat competent job in keeping her warm and stylish


Feigned wide-eyed innocence upon being accused of not liking fat people


Withering scorn for fat people


Fearsome invincibility despite being riddled with bullet holes


Anxiety over forgetting to record the finale of Project Runway


Embarrassed consternation at being photographed with someone from Teen People magazine


Childish glee at witnessing the wonders of botox up close


Utter loathing and deep disgust at having to sit next to a more powerful female