Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 17

The check pattern worries me when it exists outside the realm of pyjamaland. To paraphrase the title of a Jennifer Love Hewitt song, how do I deal? Well I always try to pair it with a muted solid because throwing in another pattern is a slippery slope to Roadkillville, population: one. See for yourselves.



Oh honey, no. Please tell me that you only wearing this because you are on the way to an audition for Oklahoma! the Gus Van Sant remake. Furthermore, the only time when indigo, violet and mauve should be seen near each other is on a prism spectroscope.



Here we have another refugee from the People's Check Republic, fleeing an oppressive communist regime. A regime that not only declares fake Burberry as compulsory but exhorts its subjects to let a hundred flowers bloom, especially all over their pants.



In conclusion, keep things matching. For example, black & white colours throughout the outfit (maybe a hint of orange to alert traffic when crossing the road). Elasticised waistband and leg hems, elasticised handbag detail. Wide checked pattern, even wider pant legs. A small point to note though - while black is slimming, pantaloons shaped like the billowing sails of a Spanish galleon are not. It could lead us to suspect the wearer of trying to hide, not the aftereffects of a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, but the Thanksgiving dinner itself, turkey and all.