Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 41
Still don't know where to go for your Xmas holidays? Up until recently I was in a similar position. Then I started idly browsing through my collection of fashion roadkill, and all of a sudden I was brimming with ideas. Let me inspire you as well.
Christmas means crass commercialism means massive sales around the world! Take an extended shopping trip to your favourite bargain spot. Discounted handbags, shoes, cosmetics - kill, maim and burn your way through the crowd and they'll be yours for the taking! While you're at it, pick up a new pair of pants too.
The friendly tropical islands await you! Long walks on the beach and holding hands. Soaking up the sun while drinking exorbitantly priced cocktails. In no time, you'll return with a fabulous golden tan to match that cheery castaway outfit of yours.
Experience the thrill of a lifetime on a safari! You'll get up close and personal with majestic wild beasts, maybe invite them back to your luxury tent for a drink. Shoot some game in the head and wear the spoils of your victory!
Just simply stay at home! With everyone else out of town, now is the opportunity to indulge in a little personal "me" time. Lie around in your pyjamas all day, staring at the tv in a drunken stupor. When the booze and junk food run out, pop out to the convenience store to restock. Don't bother to change because hey, the rules of normal dressing don't apply when you're on vacation.