You Like, You Buy Vol 35

Property! Come one, come all, get it while it's hot. As you can see, every dog and his man has been holding out for the territory's first listed Real Estate Investment Trust. Those with a few extra million to spare have also been splurging on the real thing, but not just any old bricks and mortar. With names like Chianti, Caribbean Coast and One Silversea, this town is not want for faux-sophisticated living.

One such example is Centre Stage, the apartment block, not the best goddamn ballet movie ever to be made. Upon visiting its website (www.centrestage.com.hk), you will know luxury, whether it wants to know you or not. For starters, Chinese people have been barred from this part of the neighbourhood.


Unless you count the management staff who you must avoid direct eye to eye contact with because what's the point, they all look the same anyway.


The state-of-the-art security system is such that you can draw the blinds, wear very little, balance yourself on one foot and indulge in some guilty pleasures like back-to-back episodes of Laguna Beach: The Real OC.


The dining room is spacious enough to allow for an impromptu drum performance that will make even the gaudiest chandelier rattle.


There is an abundance of luxury retailers nearby, selling feathers by the pound and clothes that make your torso eerily similar to Jabba the Hutt's.


Also in the vicinity are amazingly hip lounge bars where you can select at your leisure, the smarmy bastard of your choice to ply you with drink and take you home for lousy sex.


But when all is said and done, it is the quality of the fittings and the finishes that is most impressive. The only thing that can take the attention away from the meticulous craftsmanship is a guy in a ladies' trenchcoat.