Wednesday, May 18

HK Bridal Special: Chapter 5

Update: Every few hundred years, the Hong Kong wedding industry leaps forward, leaving engaged couples floundering in its wake. At long last, the fantasy of fairytale wedding is set to come alive at Hong Kong Disneyland! Have you stopped hyperventilating yet? Pass me that bag, because I haven't! There'll be horse-drawn carriages, popular mascots, familiar theme songs and like Cinderella everyone will be home by midnight! I simply MUST get invited to a Disney wedding. Even if I have to moonlight as a lesser known character like freaking Flower the skunk.

One of my favourite parts of attending any wedding is the possibility of cake. The serving of something like this:
buttercake washed with cherry liqueur syrup and layered with chocolate ganache, coffee buttercream and chocolate souffle layers
is a satisfying end to the reception, and makes me feel that my gift is well deserved. Therefore it vexes me that wedding cake providers in Hong Kong are far and few between. Many Hong Kong couples don't even bother with the niceties at all, preferring to wheel out a styrofoam dummy cake for show and tell:



Secreted between the fake tiers is a plain white cake of white frosting with the blandness and consistency of shaving cream. Most times, it is cut into little squares and packed in little doggy bags for guests, then sealed with a special message from the bride and groom like "don't forget to validate your parking ticket". Perhaps it's because after the decadent feasting, the last thing on anyone's mind is cake.

When they do manage to get their act together and get a real cake, the design itself does not inspire mouthwateringness. Rather it reminds you of mass weddings and the absolute nightmare of trying to understand the seating chart:



Or it reminds you of how the elevated walkways in the Central Business District connect to form a seamless, mostly air-conditioned path for the office serf:



But maybe I'm being too harsh. There are HK couples who have buckets of creativity and choose to dump it all over their wedding cake. The end result is a bit of pastry emblazoned with their photographic likeness. It really makes the cake happen while feeding the rampant narcissism that is so common at these events.


Ain't love grand.....until such time it hits a giant iceberg, causing mayhem, roiling nausea, icy grim death and large-scale devastation.

15 Comments:

At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those photo cakes ... really take the cake in ugliness and self-absorption!

LBYB

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger cosmo-activist said...

oh that titanic cake was bad...
By the way, I'm addicted to your blog. I'm supposed to be looking for jobs but instead I just end up here! so much more interesting than resumes and cover letters.

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger stilt said...

That photo cake is GOLD! Imagine choosing the Titanic though - way to get your cultural touchstones wrong. I actually had the misfortune to attend a wedding that featured one of those "arches over a fountain bewteen two cakes" numbers, and not only did it have the little bride and groom on top, it had the 6 (yes, count them) bridesmaids and groomsmen ascending the stairs. Claaaaasy!

 
At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Mr. Parx said...

Luckily, they're on the TITANIG, which I don't believe crashed and sank.

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

cosmo-activist, looking for gainful employment is such a drag. It's like all they want these days is experience, degrees and a lack of social life.

Stilt, I have seen that sort of bridal party orgy cake too!

Hey mr parx, that is fine spotting which only became apparent to me in the harsh light of day.

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Blandwagon said...

The most interesting thing about the Titanig cake is the difference in scale. It's Titanic meets Attack of the 50 Foot Happy Couple.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Madame Chiang said...

one wedding I saw a few years back (not in Hong Kong) had the bride dressed as Cinderella arriving in a horse drawn carriage, her 'pageboys' were dressed in mice costumes (with ears, tails, whiskers) and she was holding a real live kitten...kitten was terrified and so ill that we had to take it from the bride as we were worried it was going to die mid wedding!

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger hazela said...

I;ve been to a polynesian wedding, where they had a creative use of fibre optics on the top cake and a waterfall cascading down the 8 tiers(it was a biiiig wedding) at the side..give me a chocolate fondue fountain anyday...i might be tacky but at least it's tasty, and with the added bonus of kidding yourself its just healthy fruit.

 
At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The photocake looks as if it has large green olives along the left hand edge. Classy!

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger littledminor said...

I'm not so clear on the idea that those earnest folks wanted to get married with the Titanic or the TitaniG. Oh, those crazy asian folks, always switching around those 'C's with 'G's. You know, like those euphemisms that all asian parents are prone to. As in, "You've got to grab the cat by its Bullseye!"

 
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