You Like, You Buy Vol 9

Steela + Steelo (www.steelasteelo.com) is a brand of accessories that started out making stainless steel jewelry such as the usual charm bracelets, rings, pendants and earrings. There's a wide variety of designs to suit women of all types, such as the Amazon line for the statuesque, strong & imposing woman, the Love Me line for the terribly insecure and the Ballie Ballie line for sports enthusiasts which exhorts you to "go chunky with balls". For the men, there is the Uno & Arrow ring which is designed to show the "selfdom of impregnable man". Rejoice men, at last you have a way of declaring to the world that you cannot and WILL NOT be impregnated.

While their designs involve a lot of creative effort, even more thought was put into the name Steela + Steelo - Steela represents the ladies while Steelo represents the men, and the "a" and "o" stands for all occasions. Even a master codebreaker like Robert Langdon wouldn't have been able to work that one out. Similarly, the Viwa line of poodle designs is derived from the phrase "vivi wawa" which in the most mangled attempt at onomatopeia in the history of mankind is supposed to be the sound of a dog barking.

Somewhere along the line, the minds behind Steela + Steelo decided to go into a product expansion frenzy and churn out watches, handbags, sunglasses, slippers and scarves. I hope I'm wrong but I think I even saw a hair scrunchy in there. Also, don't be alarmed by their self-described bushy tailed Terizia handbags - there is neither bush nor tail there, just terry towelling.

But wait, there's more! Don't leave the site without browsing through their swimwear collection, at least I think it is swimwear because the one below would look more suitable on a jaded can-can dancer in a bordello.



What's that vivi wawa sound coming from your crotch? Good golly gosh, poodles turn up in the darndest places, don't they!