Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 11
It is no secret that Hong Kong is an unapologetically materialistic place. A gold watch, a handbag with prominent designer logos and a shiny European car. These are signs that you have made it in society, not necessarily to the top, but somewhere around the middle where there are enough people to look down on. This is why ladies working in offices save their blue Tiffany paper bags to carry their packed lunches in and bring them into work everyday. This is why a guy who leaves a party needs all his other guy friends to accompany him to the carpark, not for safety reasons but because everyone needs to see what new modifications he has added to his sportscar. This is why I have no friends, apart from Paul Frank.
While I am glad to see her wearing a hat instead of carrying the usual umbrella, I don't approve of such reckless displays of materialism. My own hat felt so inferior knowing that it cost less, that I had to spend the afternoon boosting its self-esteem by draping it in jewellery and spraying expensive perfume on it.
Can you imagine her wardrobe - it's probably filled with other bits of clothing like this, and there's a separate compartment for price tags alone which she can mix and match. This $1000 price tag really brings out the colour of my eyes. They really go with my dollar sign contact lenses! Oh look it's October already! Time to change the price stickers on everything at home. Where's my price tagging gun? Ohhh now I remember, that Mrs Chan from down the street borrowed it and never returned it. Bitch.
Other people are more content with taking a more subtle approach to lording it over everyone else. So I asked mummy in the limo why she wasn't sad that she lost $100,000 at mahjong the other day after finding out that daddy only bought her a 150 foot yacht and named it after her because he also bought himself a new girlfriend who's younger than me and put her up in a new three storey villa with 360 degree harbour views. Mummy replied because we're rich. And that's when I knew that was the answer to everything.