Thursday, September 30

Little Blonde Book

In honour of China's National Day, it is only appropriate that we reflect on some of the learned words of Chairman Mao Zedong. His words have been so pervasive and enduring that even today, several young celebrities are still espousing the same ideals set out in Mao's Little Red Book. These celebrities also happen to have amazing powers of influence regarding the way teenyboppers talk, dress and most frightening of all, think. If they haven't done so already, China's National Museum should really include Jessica Simpson in their collection of famous wax figures.

Whoever relaxes vigilance will disarm himself politically and land himself in a passive position.
Chairman Mao
Oh, my new Vuitton shoes! Well, at least they're clean now. God, I didn't see the pool! Why is there a pool there? At least I didn't go into the big pool.
Paris Hilton

In a class society everyone lives as a member of a particular class, and every kind of thinking, without exception, is stamped with the brand of a class.
Chairman Mao
Is there, like, maids for, like, celebrities?
Jessica Simpson

We must thoroughly clear away all ideas among our cadres of winning easy victories through good luck, without hard and bitter struggle, without sweat and blood.
Chairman Mao
Marrying into money was not a good thing for me
Anna Nicole Smith

In this world, things are complicated and are decided by many factors. We should look at problems from different aspects, not just from one.
Chairman Mao
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea.
Jessica Simpson

Production by the masses, the interests of the masses, the experiences and feelings of the masses -- to these the leading cadres should pay constant attention.
Chairman Mao
I'm glad people think I have a nice chest.
Lindsay Lohan

You can't solve a problem? Well, get down and investigate the present facts and its past history!
Chairman Mao
Platypus? I thought it was pronounced platymapus. Has it always been pronounced Platypus?
Jessica Simpson

We must endeavour to establish normal diplomatic relations, on the basis of mutual respect for territorial integrity and sovereignty and of equality and mutual benefit, with all countries willing to live together with us in peace.
Chairman Mao
I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.
Britney Spears

If the U.S. monopoly capitalist groups persist in pushing their policies of aggression and war, the day is bound to come when they will be hanged by the people of the whole world.
Chairman Mao
I hate record labels. They think they know everything. I want to hear them try to sing it.
Jessica Simpson

We must do our utmost, in the course of our struggle for the abolition of the feudal system, to preserve all useful means of production and of livelihood, take resolute measures against anyone's destroying or wasting them, oppose extravagant eating and drinking and pay attention to thrift and economy.
Chairman Mao
All I do is work. I wake up in the morning at 6, and I just go to work. It's been non-stop. I didn't even have a summer, I usually go to Europe, but I've been here and busy building this brand.
Paris Hilton
I went to Wal-Mart for the first time. I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it has everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap.
Paris Hilton

Communists must be ready at all times to stand up for the truth, because truth is in the interests of the people.
Chairman Mao
I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt.
Britney Spears

3 Comments:

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

OMG, this is so freaking scary, and hilarious!

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger Jessica Nick Simpson said...

HelloSpirit Fingers, Ive been surfing the web for the newest info on jessica simpson wedding and came accross your site. Little Blonde Book is'nt exactly what i was surfing for, but i see why i found it. Anyway, interesting read. I will continue to look for jessica simpson wedding etc... I will be back to your site sometime...

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger xinxin said...

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