Monday, September 20

Goodie bags



The only things that interest me about award shows like the Emmys are the embarrassing displays of red carpet fashion (as shown above) and the extravagant gift bags.

This year's official Emmy gift bag was reportedly worth about US$30,000 so I did some research and compiled a near-complete list of its contents. If you managed to get your hands on one, please let me know what else needs to be included. Remember that these bags are given to presenters and nominees so yes, even William Shatner gets one!

ACCESSORIES
Dooney & Bourke large doctor's satchel
Luxury designer dog products from Bella Pooch including custom clothing and gourmet food

TRINKETS
Choice of one custom piece of gold jewelry, with or without precious stones from Ippolita
Elini Nazar watches (ugh, they make "Rolex copy watch" look good)

HOME & ELECTRONICS
38cm flat screen television
Sprint PCS Vision Multimedia Phone MM-A700 by Samsung

FOOD AND DRINK
One kg box of Ethel M. Chocolate
Private dinner at Morton's, The Steakhouse
Bottle of Californian wine with an invitation for two to Napa Valley for lunch and a private vineyard tour

HEALTH AND BEAUTY
One year membership at The Sports Club LA
A crapload of Dior beauty products
Day spa visits

TRAVEL
Choice of five nights accommodation at exclusive destinations from Small Luxury Hotels of the World (what, no airfare, how stingy!)
United Airlines upgrades certificates

I know what you're thinking - It doesn't look quite right. There should be more. Well of course there is, silly. Didn't I say earlier that was just the official gift bag. Will you keep up with me, here! Let me break it down for you so that you civilians (Matt Damon's term, not mine) can understand it better. There's also:
1. the Buzz Bags given a week before the awards ceremony;
2. the Distinctive Assets gift bags for all the nominees; and
3. the Entertainment Tonight after-party gift bags.

Now you too can sleep more soundly at night in the knowledge that overpaid tv stars can never be pampered enough.

10 Comments:

At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear lord!!! PLEASE tell me - who is that in that god awful gold outfit???

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

I don't think she's anyone you or I know - a screenwriter named Tess Smith. It might not even be her real name though, just her porn screen name.

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger j-a said...

well i don't care whether i'll be overpaid or not - being a TV star sounds pretty good to me if that's what you get for TURNING UP at an award ceremony!

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger Dawei said...

Yeah seriously, what's up with that outfit? What is this, the Grammys?

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Gold lame roadkill. Too funny! Good site, btw

jeff

 
At 8:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a goody bag listed on ebay for a minimum $800 - no bids so far. Geez, they're FREE! I hope it doesn't sell...

-Jennifer -

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger Ms Hairy Legs said...

I love how she's actually pulling up that front flap to increase exposure, because she's otherwise dressed rather conservatively.

 
At 5:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

she looks huge and her stomach and her legs are fat ewwwwwwww nasty!!!! was a slute and i feel bad for the designer!!!

 
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It is natural and nothing to worry about because generic Generic Viagra has arrived to save men from getting embarrassed in bedroom. Pfizer introduced oral pill Viagra in 1998 and Cialis created uproar, which is contrary to the reaction generally related with a launch of any usual medication.

 

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