Monday, March 7

HK Bridal Special: Chapter 3

Prepare for a slight frisson of excitement as I unfold the next chapter of the ongoing Hong Kong bridal special. It's widely believed, and you can quote me on this, that one cannot hold a wedding effectively without the groom. However groom fashion is an oft-neglected area simply because it has little use for tulle, lace and cathedral trains. Grooms who are not content with being the passive partner fashionwise would do well in Hong Kong where the local HK bridal industry is working tirelessly to redress the imbalance between the sexes.

As with every other area of fashion, we have to contend with the retro look, a throwback to yesteryear. Or in this case, the Seinfeld years:

We've decided to cut costs and streamline operations so I'm your maitre'd as well as your groom for the evening. This moth-eaten cobwebbed coat was a treasured heirloom that was handed down from generation to generation until I picked it up for a song at a flea market.

Roll up roll up, come see the greatest show on earth that is our wedding. Meet the bearded lady, the Alligator man and the three-legged albino dwarf, and that's just my side of the family.

No wedding album would be complete without the pre-arranged costumed photo shoot. This is where the groom can really shine on an equal footing with the bride. The aim is to take enough pictures which one can show their children and explain to them, as you can see you inherited your dubious taste from Mum and Dad, but more so from Dad.

Arrr, tonight I shall be getting the booty that I so richly deserve!

This sort of couple will probably choose the soul draining Titanic theme song for their first dance instead of something awesome and upbeat like it's LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!! It's LOOOOOOOOOVE!! It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!.

You may have detected a trend of traditionally masculine costumes. What better way to assert your stout-hearted, red-blooded strapping macho dominance than to don full Highland gear. Maybe not during the ceremony though, lest you can't resist the insatiable urge to scream FREE-DOMM!!! and moon the crowd in response to the question "Do you take this woman to be your wife?"

Previous instalments: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2


At 7:47 AM, Blogger mnkymelbourne said...

have been reading your site for ages - I love it - thought I should finally comment - can you explain the HK culture to weddings - is the idea if you dress up 'zany' like a pirate and a piratess(?) you are sort of alternative or fun or something or is it a repressed conservative type of alternative - I mean I would have thought dignity was more important especially to conservative chinese.

At 6:35 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

I think a lot of it has to do with being cute (or being perceived as cute) rather than classy. Most brides want to have a fairytale Barbie wedding complete with dandy prince.

At 11:36 PM, Blogger Harrods Girl said...

Oh gosh, the second last photo is just scary. The bride head just freakily pokes out from the white bunch, while the captain just stands randomly next to this white pile of fabric and face. So is it like, romantic to marry a ship's captain now? These themes don't make much sense at all.

At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first three photos look like they are from the Dvaid Copperfield Magic Roadshow.

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous sumikosue said...

I have to say that a kilt makes any man look sexy! Even one not remotely Scottish. This couple is the only one that looks like they are having fun! FRee-dom! Aye!


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