Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 8
I'm looking forward to the cooler days of autumn after the scorching summer we've been subjected to. How hot was it, you ask? I'll show you exactly how hot it's been.
I can almost make out the shape of a monarch butterfly there. However he's not the main subject of today's post. When the sun comes out in Hong Kong, most people develop a unhealthy dependence on their umbrellas. I thought the trend of carrying an umbrella out for a daytime stroll disappeared around the time that Queen Victoria's reign ended. I'm all for sun protection but I draw the line at having to fight my way through a sea of umbrellas every time I walk down the road to buy the morning paper. Very tempted to stick a wooden stake into one of these umbrella-carrying loons just to see if they turn into dust.
Oh honey, did you know that the pavement beneath your tacky wedge heels also reflects UV rays. With the amount of skin you have on show, you're going to fry, baby, fry.
Estimated value of damage caused by the last five typhoons which this umbrella has been used in: Over HK$100 million. Cost of replacement umbrella: Less than HK$50. Managing to looking like a cheapskate AND fashion roadkill at the same time: Priceless.
Some people are so fond of using their umbrella in summertime that they opt to get one surgically attached to their arm. Give it up for Edwina Umbrellahand!
Hey lady, you're under cover already! There's no need to open your umbrella unless you want to show off the fact that you own a Burberry one. How much protection exactly do you need? I feel sorry for your husband - "darling, what do you mean 2 condoms isn't enough?"
Next summer the government should make some community service announcements along the lines of: Think about getting a hat. Sunglasses even. And some sunscreen. They're sold in things called shops. It's not that hard, people!