Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 20
Psst lady...I think there's a rather large rip in your pants. Now everyone knows you wear a long leg panty girdle with a dowdy floral pattern. What to do? There's just no way in the world you can pass it off as part of the design of the pants. Maybe if you tear open the other side as well it would look like less of an unfortunate accident and more of a self-referential "see my pants were caught on a nail and I'm poking fun of myself haha" fashion moment.
Psst lady...I think you forgot to wear your pants. You know, a garment extending from the waist to the ankle, covering each leg separately. Or a skirt, another type of garment that hangs from the waist down. You also seem to be missing the back of your shoes because I can see the pain that your feet are going through but that's secondary to the pain of embarrassment I'm currently feeling for you. Or perhaps you woke up this morning in an unfamiliar bed with a stranger sleeping next to you and you were also late for work so you dashed out of there as fast as possible with whatever you could find in the crumpled heap of clothes on the floor.
No, still don't know what I'm talking about? Well call me a prude but I just don't think colleagues should be allowed to see one's knees let alone the entirety of both legs. You know what, just forget about it. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time. Carry on as you are, I wouldn't want you be late on your first day of work at the Gentleman's Club.
Psst ladies...why do these words appear on the back of your pants? Surely it would be more appropriate for them to appear on the front.