Dazzzle me

With the party season in full swing, everybody seems to be getting invitations to stand around quaffing drinks and engaging in witty repartee with head glamourously thrown back. To cope with a busy social schedule one needs an all-purpose party outfit that can last the festive distance. As a Victoria's Secret model would say alluringly in her thick Eastern European accented voice "Excite meeeee, Deeeelight me, Dazzzzzle me".



WHOOMP!! That's the recoil force of the camera's flash slamming the photographer back against the wall after he took the above picture. Why is it that the more I look, the shinier it gets? Is it just me or is anyone else feeling a searing pain shooting through their eyeballs? Shouldn't a magpie have dragged this campy czarina back to its nest by now?

Bobby Trendy (yeah I know) seems to be sort of kid in class who always hogged the glitter paint. The kid who wanted gold stars from his teacher because they were faaabulous dahling. I was sort of hoping that Bobby came from Hong Kong but this self-proclaimed "beautiful rich white woman" was originally from Vietnam. Just as well he left a long time ago because a country once ravaged by war can't rebuild itself on overpriced throw rugs and silk cushions. So rest easy, Hong Kong this is one phenomenon that the West can't blame you for. They probably still haven't forgiven you for William Hung yet anyway.

Now that you have your snappy double cape and waistcoat combination, you need to consider what accessories would go with this. An oversized crystal quartz ring that wears you instead of the other way round? No...nobody likes a showoff.
Coloured tooth crystals? Maybe...if you were a James Bond villain with a good dental plan.

A gold and jewel-encrusted pimp chalice? Hmmm...I see potential. Handy for holding frankincense, myrrh and trendy drugs. It's the next best thing to an electric candelabra and we all know that only a legend is entitled to carry that.



UPDATE: Spirit Fingers is nominated the Best Asian Newcomer 2004 and Funniest Blog categories of the Asia Blog Awards (voting is only allowed once per day). Liberace would have wanted you to vote for Spirit Fingers.