You Like, You Buy Vol 30

In Hong Kong, where the average cup size is equivalent to the size of a common Duracell alkaline battery, there is a thriving industry dedicated to bust enhancement.

Now I've been looking around for something to help get me through bikini season, but it's been a difficult process. We really are spoilt for choice! Do I go for the "Big B" or "Bust Out of Here"? Do I go for pills or creams? The sales assistants are no help because they just baulk when I ask them to rip open their top and show me how good the goods are.

Just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated, the Amique Group had to go and revolutionise things by bringing in B2 Alpha Body Make Gum, the chewing gum for breasts enlargement. The company has also dabbled in other beauty products like the unattractive-sounding Pomhyanggi range but they really hit the mother lode with this miracle gum.



B2 Alpha Body Make Gum is the creation of one Mr Tanaka who is a naturopathic physician as well as a dentist. He seems passionate about Pueraria mirifica and he also goes on at length about the virtues of chewing gum adding that:
it is luscious and convenient.

The product website contains a wealth of information including a treatise on the secrets of bust-enhancement. It begins promisingly with the words "there is bust and there is bust" but promptly spirals into technical jargon which serves to keep me in awe of the advanced scientific methods that are at work here.

But what ultimately sold me were the convincing testimonials. Made by people just like me, who are flat-chested and have trouble expressing themselves when overcome with happiness. Through them I have discovered that the chewing gum boasts a number of extra benefits:

Potential membership of the Fantastic Four
I'm totally surprised now that my breasts have become elastic, only 3 days after taking this. My breasts were not small originally, but my sagging breasts becoming elastic!!!

Defeating the biological time clock
Thank you so much. I'm going to become E-cup before 30-year of age!

Increased bravado
Though I am yet below normal, I have come to have like confidence of trying to challenge everything else.

Eagerness to partake in fashion trends
No my goal is close at hand. I want to enjoy underwear fashion as early as possible!

I've already been ruminating solidly for the past few hours and already I can feel stirrings, or perhaps palpitations, in my chest. By next month, I expect that due to my markedly changed appearance, I will no longer be able to see the keyboard when I blog.