Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 26

You see it lying on the top within easy reach. There is nobody around to witness your indiscretion. The bored salesgirl chatting on the phone does not count. It's not really your size, your colour or even your style. On any other day it wouldn't seem appropriate. But damn the price is cheap. Cheap enough to throw caution and good taste to the wind.

When you try it on at home, the magic has gone. There is no halogen lighting or piped-in 90s dance remixes to create an ambience of false comfort. The butterfly motif and the gauzy-winged sleeves are grating the way that a middle-aged tooth fairy would be. You are ensconced in a tacky chrysalis of your own making.



Worst of all, the dye runs. Oh how it runs when exposed to broad daylight. It has ruined a perfectly serviceable pair of leopard print pants. Pants that may look all kinds of cheap but you paid full retail for. Don't do it again.



Alas, my words have fallen on the deaf ears of bargain-hunting zealots. You all think it's as easy as carrying a shovel and bucket for a day of fossicking at the rubbish tip. Did you really think that a pink puffy coat at 99.99% off would keep its colour? It hasn't been washed yet but already it's fading quicker than my once youthful looks. At least my foundation doesn't flake off by the end of the day. The secret lies in the undercoat of epoxy mortar resin I slap on with a trowel.