Stylin' JLo

It's great to see that marriage has helped Jennifer Lopez regain her sense of humour. I like a celebrity who can haphazardly slap on clothing from her own line and laugh at herself together with the rest of the crowd. She was never this self-deprecating during the days of Bennifer. That sour bloaty Ben Affleck sure sucks the fun out any relationship.

I can't quite figure out who is initiating the demand but JLo clothing has recently made its debut in Hong Kong. Imagining myself as part of the target demographic (with corresponding taste or lack thereof) I picked out some matching separates from her collection.

Mischievous red mesh top, vampy yet retaining a hint of modesty. It says, I'll probably sleep you on the first date but only if you use protection.


Riviera silk herringbone pants. Not the French or Italian Riviera. Nor the Swiss or Spanish Riviera. Not even Diego Riviera. What the hell kind of Riviera are we talking about here?


Some things require a group effort so I'd appreciate some help from you on choosing a watch from the JLo collection. If I'm going to support her fashion endeavours I might as well do it in the gaudiest way possible.

Mink watch in pink or white? Black is a bit too pubic for my liking.
OR

Key design elements are the reptilian skin and 2 chambered heart of a cold animal like a fish. Again, Jennifer poking fun at herself.
OR

A watch that has extra sensory appendages, or feelers if you like, that sniff out the next money-making opportunity for you.
There's also one more accessory that's missing but I can't exactly pinpoint it right now. Ah yes, right there under her ears.

No, not the gold hoops. It's all about the freshly disinterred corpse.