Sunday, January 16

Fashion Roadkill of the Day: Vol 24

People who carry around sequinned handbags in the daytime irk me somewhat. It's misleading to the general public. It suggests that there is an EVENING party happening when in all actuality there is none to be had.

This lady is ready to rock. With her shiny shiny tote, sheer sleeves and entire contents of a Lifesavers pack (Fizzy Soda flavours to be precise) spilt all over her pants. She could be off to Gothic Disco night at the local community centre. But no, it's only midday and she's wandering around with sequins in broad daylight with NO INTENTION of wrangling an invite.

At least this lady has realised, a little too late, the error of her ways. Here she is making a frantic phone call, trying to start her own festivities.
Oh my god, you guys where are you? I am so psyched, I'm there already. Like literally, just standing right outside. Yeah, the Circle K convenience store. That's where the party's at. It's gonna be sooooo good. You should see me now. I've got on my favourite paisley skirt, you know the one from ETRO's Flamboyant Sperm collection.

And my boots, they are soooo wicked. Like, Wicked Witch of the West wicked. I'll get you my pretties, and your little dog too!!! Hahaha. Oh. No! I didn't mean it like that. I would never hurt your little dog. Ever. OK last time, that was just an accident. Listen, I was just quoting from the movie. That's what the Witch says. I swear.

Whatever, come on, let's get this party started. It's gonna be quite happening by the time you get here, so I'll leave your names with the store clerk. Once you get in, look for the sequinned handbag!

I'm glad we've made it clear that some people on the street are less sociable than they appear. Now, what of the profligates who behave as if there is an unlimited supply of sequins. They oversequin every garment such as hoodie sweatshirts, often to form vulgar expressions of Satanism.

I...I have no words for such people. Except to say, what an excellent day for an exorcism.

Blog of the day: Ausculture is nominated as Best Overall Australian Blog, Best NSW Blog, Best Humourous Australian Blog and Best Australian Collaborative Blog in the 2005 Australian Blog Awards.


At 7:59 AM, Blogger Kate said...

That jacket sure puts the "Ow!" in "Meeeeeow."


At 9:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Mrs Slocombe, is that your pussy on your back?"


At 8:53 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

Q: How often do you get caught?

At 9:48 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

People don't really notice other people when they walk around in HK. They just look straight ahead and plough forward with little regard for anything else, except maybe the odd fishball vendor.

At 4:36 PM, Blogger Elks said...

Woah. *hands over the holy water and latin prayer book and hides from the hoodie of doom*

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

If I was walking around taking digisnaps of people's asses, I would get caught

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Jess said...

Awww, aren't you lovely and adorable?! :)


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