Tuesday, January 25

Lock up your daughters

The red dress on the left has caused parents to take umbrage. My daughter will catch a cold! Think of the less-developed teens! It makes it too damn easy to get to second base, in my day you had to get married first!

It's one of Xcite's 20 most popular prom dresses and I can see why. Yes there the 2 strategically placed boomerangs that can probably be detached and thrown around to demonstrate the amazing laws of physics. But there are also silvery streaks down the front which are highly practical. They help to camouflage any accidents that happen in the back seat of the limo. These senior high school boys, always wanting to get the party started too early.

If you are seeking more prom dresses that offend your sensibilities, visit the Xcite collection. Might as well pop over to the Xtreme section too if it's a slow work day. They're so chintzy, so garish, so...Hong Kong!

UPDATE: A closer look at the furore and further people spout off their views:
"If my daughter had the body to wear it, I'd let her!"
(Salesperson needing a commission)

"It's absolutely too much"
(Parent concerned about the excessive fabric)

"You'd be falling out of it all night"
(Excited Tara Reid fangirl)

"This dress would look great at a prom if the model in the picture wore it, but we don't have any girls like that at our school"
(Voice of reason)

"On the night of the prom, we have chaperones at the entry looking at every dress. We also provide needle, thread and pins to close up holes and fix dresses to the appropriate length."
(Stuffy principal)

When we come to the point girls can't tart themselves up for the prom without being stitched in by the Modesty Police, then we need to take a good hard look at the way our civil liberties are heading. What next, teens will be suspended for turning up drunk at the prom? Oh wait, they already did it at West Beverly High. Donna Martin Graduates!


At 3:26 AM, Blogger zhi yang said...

in their day, one bowl of soup noodles cost a dollar or so. i hate such dumb comparisons.

At 8:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a fine line between being sexy and slutty. And that dress is just slutty-especially as a prom dress.

At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zhi Yang - I think you should avoid humour sites.


At 2:10 PM, Blogger shel said...

I've stared and stared until my eyes spontaneously burst into jets of flame, but all I can think of to say is:


Wow. I now feel like I'm an old, prudish hag.



At 11:14 PM, Blogger Saucy Monk said...

i'll tell ya what's next. Girls Gone Wild: Prom Edition.

At 12:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, the slutty aspect of these dresses could be eliminated if the coy suspenders/scarf-y things were removed. The result would be much more elegant and comfortable (at least for the wearer.)

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

practically speaking, they're just not very nice dresses. it takes effort to make a model look as if she's been chopped in half and widened around the hips... this is like the las vegas version of a disney mermaid.

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

If we go with the mermaid theme, then we should remove the top half and give the girls little sea shells to cover their offending bits.

At 8:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a senior and this would be my DREAM prom dress if only I still had the body I did when I was a sophmore. Let kids wear what they want-it's expressing themselves....Don't you always tell them to be different?? Both these dresses are gorgeous!

At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dammit im so horny, i think my dates going to wearing a dress like this, i can't wait till prom night

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