Celebrity weddings in twenty years from now

WELCOME TO
THE WEDDING CELEBRATION UNITING

Sage Moonblood Stallone AND Rumor Glenn Moore-Willis
on July 1, 2025

at 3 o'clock in the afternoon

The Little White Wedding Chapel

Las Vegas, Nevada

THE WEDDING PARTY

OFFICIATE

The Honorable Kyd Duchovny

PARENTS

Demi Moore-Kutcher and Bruce Willis, parents of the bride

Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flahvin, parents of the groom

MATRON OF HONOR
Tallulah Belle Moore-Willis, favourite sister of the bride

BRIDESMAIDS
Heavenly Haraani Tiger Lily Hutchence-Yates, close friend of the bride

Moxie Crimefighter Jilette, close friend of the bride

Tallulah Pine Le Bon, making up the numbers

BEST MAN
Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp, drinking buddy of the groom

GROOMSMEN
Seargeoh Stallone, brother of the groom

Homer James Jigme Gere, drinking buddy of the groom

Phinnaeus Walter Moder-Roberts, drinking buddy of the groom

FLOWER GIRL

Nebraska Fanning, child actress of the moment

RING BEARER
Qabala Kelso Moore-Kutcher, half brother of the bride

USHERS
Hud Mellencamp, wingman of the groom

Eja Twain Lange, hanger on

Scout LaRue Moore-Willis, less favourite sister of the bride

Sistine Rose Stallone, most attractive sister of the groom

HOST AND HOSTESS

Ireland Basinger Baldwin, publicist of the bride

Laird Vonne Stone, publicist of the groom

CANDLE LIGHTERS

Lark Song Farrow Allen

Harlow Olivia Calliope Arquette

ex-girlfriends of the groom

FIRST READING BY

Pilot Inspektor Lee
Audio Science Clayton
rehab friends of the couple

SECOND READING BY

Aurelius Cy Andrea McPherson-Busson

Satchel Farrow-Allen

ex-boyfriends of the bride

ORGANIST

Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q Hewson

social acquaintance who owes a favour

STRING QUARTET
Denim Cole Braxton Lewis
Jermajesty Jackson

Prince Michael II "Blanket" Jackson
Puma Badu

friends of the couple who are musically inclined