Tuesday, December 14

Return of the Dog

Stop worrying everybody, Gisele's dog has been returned to her. I hope that she has learnt a very important lesson from this ordeal and will use a Yummy Yeti Faux Fur Puppy Purse from now on. This is a useful preventative measure that can spare Gisele the hassle of offering a "no questions asked" reward, reneging on it when the dog is found, arresting the finders at gunpoint, throwing them to the ground, handcuffing them and for the love of God would their stupid kid stop crying already because it's scaring the little dog!!!

Speaking of little dogs, do you think that one day canines as fashion accessories will reach a critical minimum size like mobile phones already have? Some of these incredible shrinking dogs are so small that you could cradle three of them in your arms quite comfortably, swathe them in a flurry of pink and grin madly like a farmer's wife who has just cut off their tails with a carving knife.



If they were any tinier they could be in danger of being suffocated by their Chewnel #5, Jimmy Chew and Chewy Vuitton plush toys (is it wrong that I covet these for myself).

It's about time we bucked the trend of carting around an emotionally detached part-dog, part-rodent part-Victorian doll. Save the costumed frippery for your own closet. Learn to love the big friendly dogs and they will love you back in every way possible, oh yes they will.

14 Comments:

At 1:16 AM, Blogger Stacy said...

I voted for you...good luck!

 
At 5:09 AM, Blogger Marie said...

Voted for you, too. I love reading your blog and hope you win.

Was that also yours nominated in Funniest Blog as well or another "Spirit Fingers"? I voted for it as well just in case...

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, yes, butter dogs......

LBYB

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger mscynic said...

I just voted. You're miles ahead. Congrats and good luck.

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger shandyman said...

already voted for you Ms fingers

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Thank you so much you lovely people! Thanks for pointing that out Marie, must have missed it but I have now updated my post. Popularity contests are stressful aren't they!

 
At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, is that Lacey Chabert. I still think of her as a squeaky voiced little thang.

LBYB

 
At 11:50 PM, Blogger j-a said...

random - did everyone know that chocolate is poisonous to dogs? just found out the other day.

 
At 2:34 AM, Blogger Jon said...

Oh man, I HATE small dogs. The look like rats on leashes. Every gay man and rich bitch in this city seems to have one, and I'm like, 'Just get a cat!'

BTW- the girl on the bottom pic looks like she may give birth to a litter of puppies if the dog has it's way! :P

 
At 2:49 AM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

I didn't know about the chocolate thing and luckily haven't fed chocolate to any dogs before. All these people probably want the little dogs because they are easier to dress up. Cats would just scratch your face off if you tried to give them something stupid to wear. Like those pink paw sneakers. WTF?

 
At 6:46 AM, Blogger stilt said...

I've heard that chocolate thing, but thankfully my dog hasn't. He must have downed his own body weight (and we're talking 30+Kg here, peoples) in stolen chocolate over the years. But here is a very useful tip for dog owners - they can smell presents of food / chocolate / cookies / nougat / cakes etc, even when they are wrapped up under the christmas tree. And if you thought a 4 yr old could get through wrapping paper fast, you aint seen nothing!

SF: Are you still going to talk to us after your Gold Logie & Best supporting Blog awards wins?

 
At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know chocolate is bad for dogs, but it doesn't stop mine from eating it every chance they get.
Will definitely vote for you (though there are others I must consider as well.)

 
At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops, forgot:
Fiona Lifeinjiangxi
(And my dogs are rather small, but they never wear clothes, especially not silly booties.)

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Heh stilt, it's early days yet and I feel terrible about this daily voting thing. Who is going to sit around and vote everyday. I guess it's a bit like buying up thousands of TV Weeks and filling up all the nomination forms.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home