Return of the Dog

Stop worrying everybody, Gisele's dog has been returned to her. I hope that she has learnt a very important lesson from this ordeal and will use a Yummy Yeti Faux Fur Puppy Purse from now on. This is a useful preventative measure that can spare Gisele the hassle of offering a "no questions asked" reward, reneging on it when the dog is found, arresting the finders at gunpoint, throwing them to the ground, handcuffing them and for the love of God would their stupid kid stop crying already because it's scaring the little dog!!!

Speaking of little dogs, do you think that one day canines as fashion accessories will reach a critical minimum size like mobile phones already have? Some of these incredible shrinking dogs are so small that you could cradle three of them in your arms quite comfortably, swathe them in a flurry of pink and grin madly like a farmer's wife who has just cut off their tails with a carving knife.



If they were any tinier they could be in danger of being suffocated by their Chewnel #5, Jimmy Chew and Chewy Vuitton plush toys (is it wrong that I covet these for myself).

It's about time we bucked the trend of carting around an emotionally detached part-dog, part-rodent part-Victorian doll. Save the costumed frippery for your own closet. Learn to love the big friendly dogs and they will love you back in every way possible, oh yes they will.