HK tourism milestone

Calendarwatch update: What happens when you cross rippling man-flesh with a strategically placed football? The French Rugby calendar. Mon dieu, there won't be a dry panty left in the house tonight.

Yesterday Hong Kong welcomed its 20 millionth visitor in 2004 with a hessian wrapped bouquet of flowers. It was a very emotional moment for all concerned.



The winner is pictured in the middle, features contorted into an Edvard Munchian scream. Weakened from jet lag, she is powerless to stop her initial elation from morphing into horror as she realises what a load of crappy prizes she was won. A week-long Museum Pass which is worth only HK$30? Souvenirs from the Hong Kong Tourist Board that redefine tacky? Crystal junk in every sense of the word? It would be more rewarding being the 20 millionth person entering [insert skank of choice here].

Ms Wallerbosch clearly stated that her intention was to go shopping. With her one week itinerary she will just have sufficient time to fulfil her shopping wishlist, and the whole plan could go pear-shaped if she decides to make a day-trip to Shenzhen. So get your act together Hong Kong Tourism Board, cough up some spending vouchers for the lucky tourists and appoint a shopping ambassador like me! I can take new visitors on shopping sprees interspersed with high teas and the use of toilets at posh hotels. Plus I don't even need to be paid in cash, anything Chanel will do.

Now look closely at the winner's boyfriend. Condemned prisoners on death row have more optimism in their eyes. That is the look of a man who is resigned to spending an entire holiday as an extended shopping trip. My friend, those low couches in the boutiques where all the men congregate while waiting for their womenfolk to gather and try on multiple times, get used to them.

As for the HKTB representative, I don't know what to make of her. She looks high on something. Or maybe she was the person responsible for counting each visitor to determine the 20 millionth one. She's just deliriously happy that she can now finally go home, take that purple (with accents of gold and topaz) suit off and get some sleep.