Thursday, December 16

Hobo Chic

Oh how the mighty have fallen. From joint figurehead of a billion dollar merchandising empire to homeless first semester dropout wandering the sidewalks of New York. Where is the nearest halfway house for saucer-eyed waifs, kind sir? Meanwhile the other twin is feeding pigeons on the other side of town.

Take note adorable kiddies, fame will swallow you whole in your infancy, exploit your adolescence, then spit you out when your cuteness does not translate well into adult features. And Uncle Jesse won't care because he's too busy trying to get over Rebecca Romijn Stamos by dating anything he can lay his hands on.

Alas it's the same old sad story all around the world. Celebrity fortune is just as fleeting in Hong Kong, even more tenuous than a senior citizen's grip on reality. Order a side of fries and the doors to $limming ad campaigns will instantly slam shut. Come back from holidays with a tan and say goodbye to that lucrative Advanced Triple Whitening Solution Essence contract. Case in point, pretty & talented Cantopop idol Joey "Xmas Chihuahua" Yung who appears to be living out of a cardboard box.

Tut-tut. I thought Peter Pan's gang of Lost Boys wasn't accepting any more members. She should have listened to my advice before sinking her money into buttered squid commodity futures. Bonds, shares, property, those are not investments. A mid-length wool overcoat slightly tapered at the waist but with enough room for movement, now that's a good investment. So is a clean cashmere sweater.

Mmmm tastes like chicken without the threat of bird flu contamination. Millions of herbivores can't be wrong! No wonder Joey has had to supplement her income with a second job. She's not raking it in yet the way some other female celebrities are but it helps pay the bills.

The thing is, red PVC leather is an absolute bitch to dryclean. I hope for your sake, Joey, that the Japanese businessmen tip generously. Very generously.

UPDATE: Spirit Fingers is nominated the Best Asian Newcomer 2004 and Funniest Blog categories of the Asia Blog Awards (voting is only allowed once per day). Spirit Fingers - panhandling for your votes in a dress made out of a garbage bag.


At 2:33 PM, Blogger Jon said...

The Olsen twins look pretty crappy. Some people, depending on their features, can pull off the waif look, but they just look like they have cancer or something. They need to be force fed bacon cheeseburgers, I believe.

I'll go and vote for you :D

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Eshin said...

I'm pretty sure that top photo is Shu Qi, no?

But then again, porn stars turned serious actresses is probably the same crowd as celebrities turned escorts.

At 4:03 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Oh, is it? I better check, I think the mouth is too small to be Shu "slug lips" Qi. How embarrassing, I can't even tell my own people apart.

At 9:33 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Changed the pic now, that better be Joey or else. Sorry for the confusion people, it's hard to tell all these vagrants apart! I think I need to set up a Hobowatch program.

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