Tuesday, May 17

Commanding respect for your pet

For Indonesia, economic growth is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it's rejuvenated interest in beauty pageants. On the other hand, it's given rise to insidious things like a dog fashion competition.

This is exactly what I feared. Give the little bitches a bit of runway time and the next thing you know, they'll be wanting to take over the world. And it's always the same old crowd - glassy-eyed, sullen-faced, neck no bigger than six inches, scampering on the runway as fast as their little legs can carry them. They have names, agents..portfolios even.

Nataliya

A relative newcomer to the scene, Nataliya was discovered while getting vaccinated at the vet. She was teased at school for being the runt of the litter but has developed into a rare beauty and is feted for having the shapeliest legs in the business. Despite her modelling success, Nataliya plans to complete her schooling and become a certified aromatherapist.

Missy & Dewi

This remarkable duo have made an impact with their breathtaking eyes and statuesque figures. Missy and Dewi's playful dispositions caught an agent's eye at a prestigious dog obedience school. Despite coming from a purebred background with plenty of society connections, the sisters have proved they are not too haughty to grace the cover of this year's Mutts Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

Anouck

From the beginning when she was discovered relieving herself against the side of a tree, Anouck established herself as a true diva of the runway. She has worked with most of the big design houses, sometimes as their muse, other times as their furniture chewer. Her fierce temper and passionate approach to life has generated plenty of tabloid gossip, and she is often photographed by the paparazzi in bitchfights or heatedly enjoying the company of strays.

Solange

Discovered at the pound as a troublesome puppy, Solange's striking and unconventional looks elevated her from rags to riches in no time. Solange is a veteran of the scene who has appeared on countless magazine covers and billboards. She is rarely seen without her trademark oversized dark glasses. While she doesn't look like retiring anytime soon, Solange has dabbled in other projects such as releasing an album. However it is rumoured that the barking heard on several of the tracks does not match her own bark.

As you can see, pet fashion has really become too frivolous for my liking. Whatever happened to more serious and utilitarian clothing? Certainly nothing commands more respect than a pet in uniform. Nowadays, when you've got a piece of profound genius like Pets in uniform you don't even need to buy the clothing. It's one of those concepts that makes you slap your head and exclaim "of course! it's just..why that's..my god it's BLOODY FANTASTIC!!" Thus far I've been rather lukewarm on Photoshop but this..this is its biggest validation yet.

9 Comments:

At 4:23 AM, Blogger Fuzzball said...

Why oh why do people hate their pets so much? *sigh*

 
At 5:34 AM, Blogger Jon said...

Oh.....my....God...... people who dress their dogs are soulless bastards!

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

It's the shoes that get me more than anything else.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Amelia said...

It's this kind of thing that makes my pooch and many other less-than-perfect-bitches feel so inadequeate.

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger LadyCracker said...

why to people do this? Poor poor little doggies I would be filing for abuse.

 
At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Rel said...

My local supermarket has a pet clothing section - mind you, I live in Japan.

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Crazy Like A Fox said...

Those bitches are so in last season's clothes. Fashion faux pas!

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger j-a said...

i could never understand people who dressed up their pets...

 
At 11:36 PM, Blogger Fuzzball said...

Hey Fox, don't you mean Fashion Faux-Paw?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh God, I need help.

 

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