Better than Robin Williams in a prosthetic mask
Baiwatch: Bai Ling defiles "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in every way imaginable. Karaoke night will never be the same again.
Hey babies, tired of pottering around in your cage all day?
Ever feel that you're stuck in a developmental rut?
Craving for someone who can show you a good time?
Well, you need to grab one of your parents' credit cards and hire yourself a nanny! A Russian man-nanny, to be more precise.
First showcased at Moscow Fashion Week, Russian man-nanny has the stringy blonde hair and heavily made-up eyes of a trashy teenage girl but the firm masculine grip of a professional bodyguard. Dressed in efficient black gauchos and boots that date back to Soviet days, this is clearly one nanny that doesn't take off at the slightest change in wind conditions or waste time writing best-selling diaries.
Beneath his gruff and shiny leather exterior, Russian man-nanny is actually a big softie at heart. Under his tutelage and care, you will:
- be serenaded to sleep each night by the soothing sounds of tATu
- be entertained by wonderful read-aloud classics such as "Crime and Punishment" and "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich"
- acquire a taste for a dash of vodka in breast milk
- learn how to survive bitter winters with just a brightly coloured blanket made out of ostrich feathers
- find your pram being used to smuggle fine Beluga caviar
But also know that Russian man-nanny is a stern disciplinarian and he will not hesitate to have your worst playpen enemies whacked. Nobody likes a tattler.
Put yourself in control of your own caregiver and order one now. They're flying out of the agencies even faster than Russian amputee ladies. Expect to pay a premium for one with prison tattoos.
Another blog to visit: Red Apple - Simply a guide for absolutely-normal-women who want to see their life a bit through rose-coloured spectacles thanks to a pair of sandals, a new bag or some sunglasses. And having a chat with friends in front a coffee.