Tuesday, October 11

Getting the most out of your face

It's a public holiday today which means I should be rolling out of my place languidly in search of lunch and fashion roadkill right about now. But first, let me give you a few quick tips on the art of giving good face.

As a starting point, always remember to wear your hair AWAY from instead of towards the face.

Let me tell you about the last time I went out with my hair wound tightly around my face. Not only was my vision impaired but I stood by the bar the entire night and NOT A SINGLE PERSON bought me a drink!

Necklines, as the name suggests, should be kept below the chin. People could may well suspect you of trying to conceal a particularly virulent case of herpes simplex.

Hats can be used to good effect but some have a tendency of collapsing ungracefully like uneaten cotton candy. You'd be better off with a quality headframe. Frames with square or sharper edges accentuate facial definition while rounder frames soften angular features.

Finally we come to the tricky issue of blemishes and annoying unsightly scars. Yes there is corrective green-based concealer that claims to neutralise the red blotches but there is also heavy duty glitter that is applied using a hot glue gun.

Armed with this knowledge, you can now go about confidently seeing AND being seen. After all, if people can't see your face properly how else are they going to make an instant judgment about the rest of you?

Another blog to visit: Ramblings - A little bit bitchy. Sometimes nice. Usually demented. Always lost.


At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Scott R said...

I had always assumed that "Cousin It" was a dude. I glad to see that I was wrong and that she has such a nice rack.

At 3:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That girl looks like she slept for so long that spiders decided to leave their greatest creation on her head....

Since when did we have Martians as our new Model Idol?? Am I missing something?

At 2:48 PM, Blogger Batya said...

good advice, but some people don't like to be seen

At 6:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I am not mistaken I believe that that last picture is from a New Zealand fashion label called World.

Every model in the show had his/her face plastered with crystals, unfortunately no one thought about how they were going to remove them and half the models had skin removed as well...OUCH!!!


Post a Comment

<< Home