Tuesday, March 21

Tall Tales from the mystical Far East

So now we know what they've been putting in China's water supply all this time. Clearly the PRC government is counting on nothing less than gold medals in basketball when the Summer Olympics come to town. On the female side, there's Yao Defen who stands at 2.36 metres tall and is probably tired of saying "eyes up here buddy" whenever she meets new men. She would also be a handy addition to the swimming team as it will only take a couple of strokes for her to reach the other end of the pool.

The male side is well represented by Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun who's been recognised by the Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest naturally-growing human being. However the ability to see over people's heads and change a lightbulb without requiring a ladder is not all it's cracked up to be.

For one thing it must be a nightmare trying to find a decent pair of pants. A quick google search for tall clothing threw up the implausible sub-category of "tall PVC clothing". Try chirping "every giant needs a pair of low slung stretch PVC hipsters" in your best sales voice and you'll see what I mean.

Well I wish Ms Yao and Mr Bao the best of luck in whatever nefarious plans the Ministry for Vertically Enhanced has in store for them. If it doesn't work out, there's always the high fashion runway. Good money and steady work for the long-legged except during Ukrainian Fashion Week.


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