Raising Alice Kim

No, it's not another remake of the Blues Brothers, it's Nic Cage and his new bride Alice Kim on their wedding day. It may be hip nowadays to keep your shirttail untucked but nobody wants to see a slobby groom. Furthermore, you'd think with his cousin being Sofia Coppola (who is best buddies with designer Marc Jacobs) he'd try to work that angle and get Alice a decent gown, not one that has been hastily rigged together from hotel linen.

After the ceremony, they consummated their marriage by flying to San Francisco to buy Cartier jewellery. As they boarded the plane, Alice revealed more questionable taste by wearing red stilettoes with her wedding gown and carrying a Gucci grandma's wallpaper bag. Meanwhile Nic appeared to struggle with a box which I'm guessing contained the top layer of the wedding cake.

Since then, Alice has been proudly wearing her new ring on her French manicured hand. In case you were wondering, the ring is from Cartier's Chinese-inspired Padlock Collection. The design is meant to lock in happiness and keep out bad luck but I think it's going to take something more than a fancy shaped ring to maintain the Twue Wove! in this marriage. Something like several little Cage-Kims popped out in quick succession.

The pave diamonds are OK for a wedding band but if Daddy Cage was buying, I would be getting one of these or these, so big that they could block out the sun. Or maybe Nic did restrict the jewellery spending which is why Alice is pouting here like a little girl who has to wait until Christmas for more baubly toys.

They are an odd couple aren't they. Here she is, again with the Gucci bag, taking a good look at his face (maybe even for the first time) and thinking, "In this light, he looks only 15 years older than me instead of 20 years". The papers make way too much of a big deal about her being a penniless waitress though. What do they expect - have they seen what sort of crappy tips that waitstaff get these days?