Put them away please

There have been several murmurings in fashion news about the return of modesty after a very long spell of skin-baring outfits. This is fine by me, because I don't really need to be subjected to a gynaecological examination each time someone in a micro-mini sits down opposite me on the train. Nor do I need to know that someone in a top which is cut down to their waist is either: (a) rapidly losing the battle against gravity or (b) flaunting a disconcerting amount of sternum in place of cleavage. And what about those low-riding pants which display more crack than the San Andreas Fault.

So it's time to cover up a little and not have various body parts hanging out like condos for rent. However it seems that some people haven't got that memo yet. At the G-Phoria Award Show 4 Gamers, Anna Nicole Smith decided to feign her own wardrobe malfunction. For the love of God, woman put those things away. Those implants look so hard that you could put a man's head between them and crack it open like a walnut. Which is probably what happened to her late oil tycoon husband.

Meanwhile, Lil' Kim decided to celebrate her birthday by literally wearing her birthday outfit. I believe the look she was going for was "a skank wrapped in a slut shrouded in a tramp and surmounted by a hooker".