Beware of the genuine article

The only good thing about news reports that go on about counterfeit luxury goods in China is that they often tell you where these goods can be found. This information is useful for tourists and others who don't know the secret handshakes for finding fake designer items.

What the counterfeiters really need is a map like the Marauder's Map in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. At first glance, it looks like a blank parchment but when the user says "I solemnly swear I need a fake bag", a map of all the fake bag sellers appear. If the authorities find the map and try to reveal its secrets, then an insulting message will appear like "Your mother wears fishnet stockings with rubber sandals".

Furthermore, fashion brands shouldn't place the blame entirely on the counterfeiters. I know a lot of people with cash to burn (especially in Hong Kong) will buy anything with a brand name on it but perhaps they should put a little bit more creativity in their designs and make them harder to copy.

Louis Vuitton Damier Canvas


As you can see, a highly intricate geometric design that is extremely difficult to duplicate.

Gucci Monogram


Ugh, more ugly brown. If you do a google search for "grandma's wallpaper" you can download that pattern for free.

Dior


Wow, you don't even have to duplicate a pattern for this one. Just get an old seatbelt and stick on a piece of metal with the word Dior (which you can use a free alphabet stencil to do) on it.

Burberry Novacheck


Classic my ass. Give a monkey a couple of minutes with Photoshop and he'll get it right. Hell, it won't even need Photoshop - Microsoft Paint will do.

Kate Spade


Whoa Kate, you must have thought long and hard about how you wanted this bag to be. US$225 you say? And nylon too. So that would make those little white words "Kate Spade New York" worth about $220.

Although there are many more uninspiring handbag designs out there, I think I've had enough for today because browsing through them is the fashion equivalent of watching paint dry. There's a certain schaedenfreude when hacks, I mean designers, who rip off the public with unimaginative designs or ugly monograms get ripped off themselves by counterfeiters.