Friday, November 12

Vision of Love



It's more than just a cry for help, Mariah Carey is desperate to get married and she wants the whole world know it.

Now I don't want to make a habit of pimping this blog out as a repository for personal ads that reek of desperation, unattractiveness and psychosis but I will make an exception for Mariah Carey. I can think of no better way to repay someone who taught me how to wear a bandanna as a top.

VISION OF LOVE
Glittery 30something y.o. Diva, seeks dream lover who will help her make it through the rain and the occasional public nervous breakdown. Breasts or ass man, it really doesn't matter because I always dress to please both factions. Powerful music executives will be considered as long as their first name isn't Tommy and their surname isn't Mottola. However girly white rappers need not apply.

Our perfect day would begin by frolicking with the pink dolphins in the ocean while butterflies flit around us, followed by an afternoon watching movies about a bubbly singer falling from grace played by a bubbly singer falling from grace. We would then end this one sweet day by retiring to the bedroom and experiencing emotions that cause my voice to reach the seventh octave several times.

My ideal partner, or little lamb as I shall often refer to him as, should always be prepared to talk trash about other singers, sort of like Elton John without the hairpiece and the longtime boyfriend. Makeup and hairdressing skills will be viewed favourably. Finally, and most important of all, it is essential that he shares my deep and abiding love for my favourite animal, the unicorn.

Please send all expressions of interest to the attention of Honey B. Fly c/o Island of Capri.

5 Comments:

At 1:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd bonk her anyday. But no long-term relationships please.

Cheers! (Ron, See Lai)

 
At 1:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Missie is so evil. I love that. Please keep going.

Dicey (www.bunny-bytes.com)

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

Quick, someone tell Mariah her slip is showing!

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger Marie said...

Priceless! She's such a bimbo. I wish you'd turn your fashion blow torch onto Celine Dion. She's long overdue for a serve for several of her wardrobe malfunctions.

Great blog!

 
At 7:32 AM, Anonymous john said...

gorgeous

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