Wednesday, November 23

The element of surprise

There's never been a better time than NOW to be pregnant. Gone are the days where pregnant women were relegated to muumuus in unattractive shower curtain prints. Nowadays top designers are incorporating wait that word sounds so ungainly....prenatal pieces in their ready-to-wear collections.

The best thing of all is that these looks are already so widely accepted as high fashion that nobody even has to know about your pregnancy. You have the advantage of the element of surprise. You can let people know only when your water breaks all over their designer shoes or schedule some vacation time and return with a healthy baby as a souvenir.

Stella McCartney offers this smart disguise for expectant mothers in high-powered careers, ones involving handheld devices that demand more attention than a wailing infant. With such corporate attire you can go to work everyday, secure in the knowledge that your peers haven't put their names down for your office and secretly divided up your clients and stationery amongst themselves.

Donna Karan insists that black hides all sins! Wear this to family gatherings and avoid having to deal with disapproving relatives. If having a baby out of wedlock is good enough for Tom and Katie, then it's good enough for you and babydaddy.

Remember that in your situation, more is more! With this Gianfranco Ferre number, who would suspect that a fetus is growing under these voluminous folds of fabric. Even the most intrepid gynaecologist would get lost in there.

According to Jessica Ogden, if you're feeling bloated and frumpy you might as well look it.

Marc Jacobs, bless his soul, has actually brought muumuus in unattractive shower curtain prints back into the spotlight.

No matter how big you get, you're safe in this creation by Michiko Koshino. Like a concertina, it expands to accommodate your increased girth and engorged breasts. But like a stupid scarecrow, you will be unable to put your arms down.

After you've given birth, there's no need to get back into shape quickly, unless you have a lucrative lingerie modelling contract. Just look at how roomy these pants are!

Another blog to visit: Get On the Blandwagon! - You can go anywhere on the Blandwagon! As long as it's bland!


At 9:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spirit Fingers, you slay me. Another classic.


At 3:35 AM, Blogger xinwei said...

"intrepid gynaecologist" - classic!


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