Thursday, December 22

Christmas in Korea: a multidomain affair

Oh those South Korean farmers, what lovable scamps they are! So what if they caused a bit of a ruckus here last week - the experience will serve as a useful practice drill for the mad frenzy that will inevitably erupt when Kenny G is next in town. In the spirit of the season, let's just release the demonstrators because (a) it sucks to be in prison on Xmas day and (b) it sucks even more to miss out on celebrating a Korean Xmas.

As an Asian country with a strong Christian base, South Korea really pulls out all the stops for this particular holiday. What they've done this year is to mount a full-scale all-domain assault to ensure that nobody remains bereft of Christmas cheer.

LAND

Finally, those opposable thumbs are good for something! Honestly, with the right whiskery accoutrements, I don't think the kids will even notice the difference. It's like having one's very own Bad Santa.


For one thing, Santa Orangutan knows how to crap in its hands and hand it over to distressed-looking children instead of wildly flinging it about. I don't know if I could say the same about Billy-Bob Thornton.

AIR

If the sky suddenly darkens overhead, don't be alarmed. It's just a tight formation of Santas performing aerial manouevres. They also perform loads of Jackass-style stunts like releasing the safety harness and diving headfirst into chimneys.

WATER


Water-based operations are always the trickiest, which is why Santa has to import flaxen-haired elven maidens for the task. They do a whole lot more than filling out their bikini tops and slowly massaging each other with suntan lotion. A pool party involving a Korean BBQ buffet and free-flowing booze, hot tub poker games and free towel service doesn't just run itself you know.



Another blog to visit: HKMacs - A fountain of knowledge for all things Macintosh, liberally sprinkled with cynical, politically-incorrect observations on politics and life in general and garnished with Mrs HKMacs delicious recipes

3 Comments:

At 3:38 AM, Anonymous Mack said...

Hello,

My name it´s Alex Körner, I´m from Brazil and I write comedy and adventures chronicles in the blog www.aventurascotidianas.zip.net, and publish in two magazines...

I´d like too know if you like to change links in the boths blogs, what do you think?

Best regards,

Mack

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger HKMacs said...

Gee, thanks for the plug. Merry Christmas!

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Chief-Ten-Bears said...

Huh. I think the Korean ladies meant to associate christmas with the sweet scent of oranges and got a sweaty orangutan by mistake.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home