Tuesday, January 17

Decoding the body language of couples

Did you know that by looking at a single random picture of any couple it is possible to discern how happy they are? See what our body-language experts have to say about the state of celebrity couplehood at last night's Golden Globes!

Reese's position at the front means that she takes the lead in the relationship. Ryan is quite content for this to happen but his fingers indicate that she is the type to snip a man's testicles off without a moment's hesitation. He is also revealing a humourous side to his usually serious nature, one that may prove useful in tv sitcoms which is where most actors end up when their movie careers falter.

Johnny and Vanessa's body stances are very much in sync with each other, enabling them to present a very strong united front. However Vanessa's head is turned towards Johnny as she would like him to pay her a bit more attention. If he had, he would have noticed her distinct lack of nutrition and dentalcare but then again the man seems incapable of brushing even his own hair.

This is a young couple very much in love. Although Heath is not looking at Michelle, he is holding her hand and his head is leaning down in her direction, showing that she is important to him. Likewise, Michelle's body is faced inwards and her shoulders are relaxed in the knowledge that unlike at least one of her former co-stars, she got pregnant to a straight actor who plays gay characters rather than vice versa.

Rupert and Wendi may be physically close together but their expressions seem to be distant and not focused on the same thing. Perhaps he is concerned about living several more years until the question of succession is definitively solved, while she is thinking of how best to secure a delicious chunk of her husband's legacy. Her firm grip on his shoulder indicates that she will be staying put for the time being. His tie is askew which has more to do with an incompetent valet rather than anything else.

Although they are not romantically involved, their natural ease around each other indicates that they have developed a good working rapport. But be aware that Gwyneth's slightly uplifted head and her sly use of her pregnant belly to encroach upon Sir Anthony's space, not to mention the fact that she is Gwyneth Paltrow, means that even though he received a Lifetime Achievement Award she is still superior to him in every way.

The love in this couple appears to be originating from Ang Lee and Ang Lee alone. We see Clint trying to create some distance between them with little success. We are always happy to be proven wrong in affairs of the heart but all the signs point to a short-lived affair that has shades of Play Misty For Me.

This is quite a new relationship for both Scarlett and Harvey and they are still testing the waters before making a commitment, as evidenced by the wandering eyes. However the positioning of her breasts and his obviously phallic necktie reflect a desire to connect on a physical level which suggests that at the very least they will both be leaving the party together.


At 5:11 AM, Blogger Olivia said...

Very interesting post - over the past couple of years in the UK we have had a few programmes about this celeb body language.

Johnny & Vanessa - very relaxed together obviously but as to her teeth, she's French.

I had no idea Scarlett was with such an older man and am a bit disappointed.

I am surprised you didn't include Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones - except I am sure she would hunt you down and sue you for using her picture or something. Anwyay, they are very much a couple in sync, with a strong relationship.

Posh & Becks, not so - she is full of insecurity and very clingy with Becks, and annoyingly plays to the camera at every opportunity.

At 5:39 AM, Anonymous jemini said...

Hilarious post! :D

At 8:56 AM, Blogger Dollop said...

Where did Scarlett get them from?

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Pavlov's Cat said...

What a brilliant post!

Isn't that just a natural (and it must be said rather fetching) gap between the two Paradis front teeth -- that is, isn't this just a healthy European disregard for the American obsession with perfect teeth at all costs, rather than any actual neglect? Have to agree about the malnutrition though. The gorgeous Scarlett would make two of her.

At 10:14 PM, Blogger The Scarlett said...

Scarlett's rack looks extremely new. I'm glad she didn't wear the nose ring.

At 1:53 PM, Blogger o dai wai said...

Scarlett was on Letterman a few days ago, and her bosom was very much to the fore. Practically falling out and wandering around.

At 2:48 PM, Blogger AtlasShrugs.com said...

hOOha..........what a most fabulous post.

I am such a political hound, it never occured to me that anything else was happening other than the clash of civilzations.

Wrong..........I want Scarlett's dress, does she wear Scalett as identity exploitation. Just askin....

I shall return, most juicy


PS What is up with those evil teeth on VP - ouch

At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those are Scarlett's very own boobies - having watched her grow up on film it is evident from her early work that she was destined for greatness in more areas than one!!

At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why oh why oh why did the 'expert' feel the need to comment on Paradis' teeth? S/he could have analysed her and Depps body language without having a dig at her, for god's sake.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger scince said...

How do u say 'bout this couple in their wedding, expert? ;)


P/S: She is very rich, broken up with her ex (dont want to marry) six months later to engage 2 the man who take better care of her family and herself.

At 3:05 PM, Blogger scince said...

How'bout this couple, expert? How is the love n relationship? ;)


Case: She is rich, broken up with her ex who didnt want to marry her six months later engaged to the man, who takes batter care of her family and herself and has willing to work 4 her.

And the second couple.

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