Thursday, December 8

Two birds with one stone

Two things to note today. First, has a must-see feature on the Babes of the VIP Auto Fashion Show. The name of the event itself intrigues me because "fashion" doesn't come immediately to mind when you see lots of Asians with bad dye jobs. Second, I've only now turned my attention to this Take Five meme which asks all manner of invasive questions.

The bit that caught my eye was "Five things I would never wear", a very appropriate question in light of the aforementioned Auto Fashion. So, in no particular order:

Number 1

On a good day I might be persuaded to pour myself into a corset top and dole out beer & nuts like a tavern wench of yesteryore. But I could never bring myself to wear a gold lame midriff baring top because auditioning for Solid Gold was never on the cards for me.

Number 2

I think that wearing a wristband made of the same fabric as your clothing is kind of tacky which is why you would never see me committing that faux pas. The little red and black belt is fine though, because I have lots of pants that would go with that.

Number 3

Call me picky, but I have strict policy on when and where I wear sequins, and how much proportion of an outfit they cover. To summarise: (1) never in the daytime (2) never on my private parts and (3) no more than 20%.

Number 4

While deep scoop-necked dresses are sexy beyond belief, I would never think of wearing flesh coloured tennis balls under them.

Number 5

Now don't get me wrong here. If I'm at an event which is likely to be attended by men who can afford expensive cars, you bet I'm going to put myself out there, even if it means wearing fishnet gloves with finger cut-offs and panties over my stockings. The ultra high platform boots though are a definite no-no because the only time guys like looking up at women is when they have a pole between their legs.

Blog to vote for: Beautiful Atrocities is nominated as Best Humor/Comics blog in The Weblog Awards.


At 3:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

". . . the only time guys like looking up at women is when they have a pole between their legs."

You know, there were a couple of different levels that could have been interpreted on . . .

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