Thursday, November 24

All good things must come to an end



Looking on the bright side, the price of I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding might drop, benefiting all potential brides who plan on having no more than 3 years of wedded bliss (some of which would involve a little fakery, especially towards the end).

Their announcement comes shortly after Vera Wang was awarded as international fashion designer of the year in China and opened her first boutique in Shanghai. This makes me fear for the sanctity of marriage in China. You may recall that Jessica wore a strapless beaded Vera Wang gown at her fairytale wedding. Had she chosen Badgley Mischka or Christian Lacroix, Newlyweds could well have lived to see another season. Let's see how other Vera Wang brides have fared:

Holly Hunter & Janusz Kaminski
Status: Divorced after 6 years

Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke
Status: Divorced after 5 years. Uma is planning to remarry. Ethan continues to lack basic hygiene.

Mariah Carey & Tommy Mottola
Status: Divorced after 5 years. Wedding dress used again in video for "We belong together".

Sharon Stone & Phil Bronstein
Status: Divorced after 5 years. Sharon was inexplicably present at Christina Aguilera's recent wedding.

Vanessa Williams & Rick Fox
Status: Divorced after 5 years.

Andie McDowell & Rhett Hartzog
Status: Divorced after 3 years.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Meadow Soprano) & AJ Discala
Status: Seeking divorce after less than 3 years. Husband is reportedly dating Krista Allen, a soft-core porn star and George Clooney's ex.

Sophia Bush & Chad Michael Murray, co-stars of One Tree Hill
Status: Separated after 5 months. Husband was rumoured to be cheating with Paris Hilton, among others, on the set of House of Wax.

Victoria and David Beckham
Status: Accused by tabloid of "cynically and hypocritically trying to convince the public that they continue to enjoy a happy marriage".

Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck
Status: Did not make it down the aisle. Ben Affleck has since taken Jennifer Garner to be his wife, leading to the cancellation of Alias after five seasons.

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
Status: Still going strong. Maybe.

Way to go, Vera the marriage-killer. Listen up, future brides from China, she may have inveigled her way into Shanghai under all that lace and tulle but don't allow her to destroy the foundation of matrimony, the very binding fabric of our society! Step away from the dress. For the sake of your marriage, put the dress down and just step away from the dress.

7 Comments:

At 11:22 AM, Blogger DICEY said...

I can picture the next Japanese/ Korean horror flick called "Dress" or pronounced correctly "Duressu".

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger j-a said...

this is good. i see i shouldn't have been upset about not getting a wang.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Dicey, now that you mention it, Ringu might have been more compelling if it was about a cursed wedding band.
JA I never did get to see wedding pics on your blog (maybe I missed that post).

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger DICEY said...

Uhm... a sharp eye you have there...it's thatI do not want to give too much away... so well.. uhm yeah...

 
At 9:31 AM, Anonymous beautifulatrocities said...

Oh dear, & I hear Elton's wearing Vera Wang...

 
At 3:42 PM, Blogger Fashionasia said...

whoaa...and i thought vera wang is the ultimate dream dress....

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger Corblimey1 said...

Apart from the debacle that was Tori Spellings marriage, Badgley Mischka clad brides are doing well in their married lives :-)

 

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