The Debutante Ball

Oh to be born wealthy and with passable good looks. Every year a select group of well-born young ladies are presented like prize fillies at the Hotel Crillon's Haute Couture Ball. This year, however, the event seems to have set a new low by allowing celebrity offspring in its midst. Being the grand-daughter of Steve McQueen can still probably carry some cachet in social circles but what notable birthright can the daughter of Andie "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed" MacDowell claim? Why not just open the floodgates and invite every girl whose mum uses L'Oreal Revitalift?

Despite this little aberration, the upper crust remained unfazed and magnanimously posed for the photographers in their ritual finery.


Bianca Brandolini D'Adda, descendant of Archduchess Maria Theresa of Austria, is the model for Valentino's single biggest mistake of his life. Seen here on the catwalk, it really is as bad as you think. Whipped cream and sheer black tulle...there is never a good way to transfer your sexual fantasies to a dress.



Princess Augusta von Preussen of Germany is wearing a Giles Deacon creation. There is nothing wrong with the dress per se even though it will result in many guests making minimal eye contact with her. However the problem lies elsewhere...I know I should try and limit the number of Star Wars references used in the 1 week but damn..those are some wookie arms that the Princess of Kashykkk is sporting.


Viscountess Dorothee de Jonghe d'Ardoye, a member of the Belgian royal family, opted for something made by her local couture house Natan. Chocolate being one of Belgium's finest exports, it makes sense that it be incorporated into their finest gowns as well. She's like an endless serving of Viennetta chocolate icecream!


Nadine Ghosn, daughter is wearing vintage Didier Ludot. It is an odd angle to be taking a glamour shot, made odder by the fact I can't tell whether what's sprouting out from the bottom half is intentional design or just pubic hair gone out of control.


Laetitia Marie de Moustier is resplendent in this design by Gerald Watelet, made of Michelin starred restaurant-quality table linen. However a small flock of less privileged birds slammed into her and died shortly after impact, but not before releasing a not inconsiderable amount of droppings.


This Chanel couture gown, worn by Marie de Menthon, has received plenty of coverage from the moment it appeared on the runway. It's been featured in several magazine shoots but unfortunately it doesn't improve upon repeated viewings. If you pull the black ribbon one of two things could happen: (1) air is released from the balloon section, causing Marie to go flying noisily all over the place or (2) the bottom section of the dress falls off, allowing Marie the use of her legs instead of just waiting around to be swept off her feet.

This whole event may strike you as rather elitist but it's done for the benefit of you, the person of common ilk. How else can you, the lowly commoner, learn that the nobility can still screw up their fashion choices, albeit on a much grander scale than you will ever hope to achieve.