Monday, August 16

All I want is world peace and my frickin' tiara



With all the excitement over the Olympics, I totally forgot about the Miss Hong Kong pageant. Even a HK beauty contest for pregnant women received more coverage.

The Miss Hong Kong competition is seen a stepping stone to greater things such as being a model, an actress, or the ultimate goal of all, a rich man's mistress. Once you make the final round, it's a long and gruelling trek involving a trip to Africa to make nice with the people and animals there, the making of a music video, tons of rehearsals for performances on the night, and even more interviews where you have to smile and say "world peace" a lot. I've heard of girls having to defer their studies and their careers so that they can participate in the chance of a lifetime. But when they stick the tiara on you and you smile smugly at those other bitches that you thrashed, all the sacrifices that have you made suddenly become worth it.

While browsing the official website, I came across a page which featured some designs of the pageant fashion. The drawings looked like they came from a bad 1980s cartoon (Jem and the Whorograms?) and the sequin-happy designer is obviously a big fan of Joan Collins circa the Dynasty years. While designing this costume, the designer had a hissyfit and thought "f**k this sh*t, I'll just let my kid finish the rest of it".

What would a beauty pageant be without a humiliating swimsuit section? One of the contestants is seen here in this fetching creation called "a bat with bulging eyes clings to my body". There's a further 8 pages of swimsuit dress rehearsal photos here. You can thank me by buying me lots of nice things. All I can say is that this guy must have enjoyed his job a lot. Dad, the TVB work experience program rocks!

UPDATE: You want comments? You got comments. Be nice y'all, I bruise easily.
Oh yeah, and the winner was chick no. 6, followed by chicks no. 1 and no. 12. Chick no. 12 would have won but then she made the mistake of listing her favourite song as an Enya one.

4 Comments:

At 4:46 PM, Blogger Darp said...

Yes we bloody well want comments!

There is one very sus issue with this whole show. It appears that the contestants are actually having fun!

Now, I was under the impression that fun was officially outlawed when the CCP took over HK?

Shit, they're probably reading this right now!

 
At 4:19 AM, Blogger Eshin said...

Finally some comments!

Now I forgot what I wanted to say...

Ah yes..

The point of the Miss HK Pageant isn't so much selecting the beauty of the year. It's so that everyone in HK get's a chance to name drop a Miss HK.

"That restaurant over there is run by a former Miss HK..."

Of course, no-one can ever tell me which former Miss HK it is.

 
At 6:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And not an ounce of silicon in sight!

why is it that the majority of Chinese women have small breasts?

 
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