Aussie oy vey

If the Olympic stadium was filled with snarky sportsfans during the opening ceremony, it would have collapsed under a thunderous groan when the Aussie contingent entered the arena. As one Voguette correctly described, the Olympic uniforms made the Aussie team look like pensioners going out to play pokies at the local RSL. In this photo Mark Philippoussis is thinking "thank god Delta didn't attend otherwise she would got even sicker after seeing me wear this".

Apparently nearly half of the Aussie team skipped the opening ceremony on the team doctor's advice but I bet it was because they took one look at the uniform and refused to leave the Olympic Village wearing it. All the more reason for the Aussie athletes to try their hardest in these games so that during the closing ceremony there will be lots of medals around their necks to take the attention away from the uniforms.

At least one newspaper has already decided that the worst outfit belonged to Australia. I don't understand how something that took so long to make and probably cost a lot of money, looks so much worse than the uniforms worn by the less developed countries. It would have been less embarrassing if they sent everyone out dressed like the Crocodile Hunter. The uniforms were designed by Marc Newson who is a wonderboy at designing objects (but obviously not apparel) and Robert Allan, a partner in the Mooks streetwear label. I think it's a bit lazy for the Mooks guy to come up with a boring white t-shirt - couldn't he have at least put some words on it like "Carn Aussies"?

Australian fashion designer Liz Davenport praised the design but if you check out her website, you will find that her bland collections are based on a 1990s fashion philosophy and she thinks it's ok for a woman to go out dressed like this. This is the second time Aussie designers have been disappointing this week, the first time being at the David Jones summer collection launch when someone managed to pull off the impossible and make Linda Evangelista look like ass.

The only other team that looked worth of snark were the Japanese who were just one big Asian Von Trapp family - remember that scene in The Sound of Music when Maria made the children some play clothes out of old flowered curtains? The American team went for a look that was broadly described as urban in a preppy Tommy Hilfiger way. I didn't understand why the word Roots was on the uniform at first, thinking it was a shoutout to Kunta Kinte. Anyway I would have preferred it if their urban look was a little bit more ghetto fabulous. This has nothing to do with uniforms but when the Chinese team came out, they reminded me of a really big Chinese tour group that you usually see roaming around Hong Kong.