Love Shack

Today's post is primarily for the bored homebodies who want to spice up their dens of monotony (I mean their homes, you sick people!).



Someone who has been watching too much Furniture Porn has created the Bond Age Beanie. Sigh. So many double entendres, so little time. And the best that their clueless copywriter could come up with was "naughty but nice!" and "indulge in a little gentle exercise". If there's one thing that slash fiction has taught people, it's that the tender moments happen right before and after the S&M bits not during.

I wonder if this shoot would be a high point or a low point on a model's cv. If you can tear your eyes away from elsewhere to look at Beanie Babe's face, you'll see that she's trying to suppress the discomfort of the little beans digging into her pressure points and her hair poking in her eyes which she can't get to flick away because someone has inconveniently lost the key to the handcuffs. Meanwhile all the photographer can say is, "Arch your back a bit more! Just a little bit! Arch it like you've never arched before baby!" Not sexy.

Bond Age Beanie comes in a variety of colours and materials but the one they have chosen to feature is a black suede one. Once you go black you can never go back eh? As suede makes it difficult to wipe off blood or bodily fluids, you'd be better off getting the Bond Age Beanie in leather. A clean whipping surface makes for a happy one.



Designer Beverly Feldman thinks it's incredibly sexy to get down on your knees and do some cleaning. Her Love Collection is a set of tarted up cleaning tools including mops, dustpans and brooms clad in lace nighties, lip shaped sponges, rubber gloves with lace cuffs and corseted toilet brush holders. I doubt these frou frou items would be able to clean anything effectively unless you live in tv adland where one light stroke that barely skims the floor will instantly make it sparkling clean.

As there are some Beverly Feldman shoes and handbags currently stocked at the Lane Crawford department store, you can probably get them to order the Love Collection in for you if you throw enough money at them. Never underestimate the lengths they will go to for a rich horny woman.

Beverly is so enamoured with her own collection that she has chosen to model it herself as shown in the picture above. Maybe all the models were busy that day on kinky beanbag gigs. With feather duster in hand, she purrs "would you like me to polish the leather chateau?" The resulting image does not arouse me but reminds me that I need to visit my eccentric, wealthy aunt to make sure I haven't been cut out of her will.



If you're still being ignored then perhaps you can spend a bit of quality time with your washing machine. The Orgasmatic washing machine promises a spin cycle that is saucy and a rinse that is rampant. It's only available online so turn the volume up and choose your settings. Hard + Hot + Mobile = Excitement+++