Tuesday, February 1

Mardi Bras

It's been too long a time between bra posts. Therefore I proclaim this Tuesday to be MARDI BRAS! You have carte blanche to grab your ultimate cleavage-enhancing bra and sing Osusowake Purupurun no kyu no bon. Our patron saint of Mardi Bras is award-winning Hong Kong actress Cecilia Cheung.


It takes a special kind of virtue to uphold the sanctity of the bra. In this day and age the act of bra-wearing is considered heresy (Not Safe For Work) in many circles.

Unbeknownst to many, even history majors, the bra had its origins as an instrument of punishment. During the Middle Ages, miscreants were locked in dungeons and forced to embrace comely wenches wearing spiked bras. For less serious offences (like committing carnal acts with an acquiescent duck), one hand was left free to allow the prisoner to unhook the bra. Needless to say, it was difficult to concentrate with blood gushing out from multiple puncture wounds.

What goes around comes around because Spiky Bras are back with a vengeance. Buy one today, get a personal medieval torture device that lifts and separates! Not intimidating enough? Strike fear in the heart of man with deadly blowfish bra or the voodoo bra. Once you've been Cupped and Dangerous your docile existence will be irreparably shattered.

5 Comments:

At 2:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That model wouldn't be busting out all over if she were wearing the top properly. An accident, I'm sure.

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

BTW, I told a Chinese friend that William Hung went to Hong Kong & became a movie star, & he was contemptuous. "ANYONE can make a movie in Hong Kong," he said. True?

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Yes anyone can be a movie star in Hong Kong as long as you project a certain smouldering asexualness. Which William Hung already has in spades.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger hundrednorth said...

My god, I really have to keep up with the roster of Hong Kong superstars. Damn, has she always looked this bad?!?

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

She is actually one of the most beautiful HK stars around, and looks great onscreen. Just that offscreen, she is slightly crazy (a bit like Winona Ryder in diluted form) which at least makes her distinctive from the rest.

 

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