Urbi et Orbi

Greetings devoted followers, your Pope has something to impart to you. This is my first Christmas message so it's important that I bring enough gravitas and pious wit to make it an inspirational one. Allow me to start with a stern but fatherly rebuke about how so many of you have succumbed to consumerism during this most holy of seasons. Do you really need a bigger, more Hi-Def plasma TV when I look just as good on your old one? More importantly, must you spend money on poor quality and ill-fitting garments that come in dodgy colours just because they're 50% off?

Even a man of God understands the importance of good tailoring and sophisticated style. You may have heard the whispering in the cloisters about me being the most. stylish. pope. ever. Could be, could be. Only time will tell whether my outfits will hold up well or end up looking dated & tacky. In the meantime let's take a look at what I will be wearing this winter when I'm off-duty.

Giorgio Armani

Perfect for the Italian opera season. Fitted tuxedos are no fun when you have to sit through several acts. With this piece of sartorial genius by Armani, I can just kick back in my box seat and relax to tales of violence and tragedy.

Missoni

Trust Missoni to revive the poncho in the quirkiest way possible. This one time, I hid a pair of water pistols underneath and caught a group of cardinals by surprise. Almost gave one of them a heart attack when I sprang out from a pillar and started firing. I can only imagine how awesome it would have looked in bullet time.

Gucci

This Gucci nightrobe is simply divine. I've already worn it to confession a few times. When things start to drag on and get tedious, I can admire the loveliness of the brocade detailing instead.

Versace

Can't say I've been a big fan of Donatella since she sold her soul to you-know-who. But I try to give her a shoutout now and then, in the hope that she'll return to the light side. So if you're looking for a bit of colour consider this interesting palette. But please, spare me the purple papal leader jokes.

Dolce & Gabbana

Fortunately the Vatican's policy on homosexuals doesn't extend to fashion designed by homosexuals. Otherwise I might be forced to wear *shudder* mass-market clothing. I totally support the part about "don we now our gay apparel" especially if it involves a Dolce & Gabbana suit.

Prada

Each new Prada collection fills my heart with gladness and joy! The hat, the scarf, the pants, the man boobs - love love loving it! Miuccia Prada is...hmmm what word am I allowed to use here...not idol..definitely not goddess...I know! She's a living saint! Somebody canonise that woman pronto!

Dsquared

Check out what I'll be wearing on Christmas morning. Cute, huh? That is so me!

Roberto Cavalli

When it comes to stylish clubwear you can't go wrong with Roberto Cavalli. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. After all, what's a pope to do once midnight mass is over? Grab his manbag and p-a-r-t-y, that's what.

Another blog to visit: The Scarlett Letters - I'm a Main Line Philadelphia mom and I like fashion, food, film, fiction and facepaint (the kind you get at Sephora or Saks, not the kind you wear to a stadium). I've got opinions served up with a side order of sass. Now, get your hair out of your eyes because I want to see your pretty face.