I hope pandas aren't the litigious kind

In lieu of the Colin Farrell sex tape, I give you a screen capture from one of the rarest sex videos ever to be released on the internet. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that age-old scenario - it all began one lazy hazy evening made hazier by a few drinks, when two people who were mildly attracted to another decided to fool around with a digicam to relieve the boredom of having no good Korean tv dramas to watch. One thing led to another and soon that mock wrestling bout turned into vigorous use of 7 out of the top 10 most used kama sutra positions.

In Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui's case, a journalist with keen observational skills was on hand to breathlessly transcribe their first passionate clinch.

From Tuesday morning, the pair began to take turns sniffing each other, an act believed by expects as clear signs of the impending mating. Lin Hui, the female, kept walking by Chuang Chuang and turned her rear toward him, but only was pushed away by the male with his paws.

As zoo officials were frustrated by the lack of developments in their contact for hours, Chuang Chuang seemed to understand what he was supposed to do. He discarded his resistance, sat and leaned backward while spreading his legs. Lin Hui then moved backward and sat on top of him.

There was some movement and after a while Lin Hui let out a humming noise, but Chuang Chuang showed little reaction. A few minutes later, the two parted, wounding up their first romantic encounter.

Good golly gosh, somebody's been working on their awesomely bad fan-fiction writing skills. As Lin Hui did not amble down down to the pharmacy for the morning after pill while her mate chewed on a post-coital stick of bamboo, zoo authorities are hoping that a baby will soon be on the way. But I'm concerned about whether ChuangLin are doing this for the right reasons. Pressure from the Central Committee? A last-ditch effort to save their marriage? Or just unduly influenced by mad rush in Hollywood to become inseminated? *sigh* At this point I don't know how much more procreating I can handle.