Corporate attire

At last, we seem to have come full circle in the saga of workplace dress codes. Thanks to the employees who have insisted on interpreting smart casual as smut casual, many companies have returned to the business suit regime. Even at events like the MTV Video Awards in Latin America, which traditionally have attitudes to dressing that are so laidback that they are almost horizontal, attendees are choosing to turn up in formal trouser suits.

Don't despair ladies because whatever the dress code is, the right clothing and accessories will propel you up the corporate ladder and straight through what I like to call the G-ceiling. Originally it was known as the glass ceiling but nowadays opinions are divided as to whether it really exists. Many people, especially males have never found it and think that it's just a myth conjured up by females to explain their inability to reach career peaks. On the other hand many people, especially females believe that it is very real and the lucky few who have managed to push through it experienced immense glass-shattering pleasure in doing so.

High IQ suit
For a limited time, UWN (the Hong Kong equivalent of the Banana Republic fashion chain) is offering High IQ Suits With LYCRA®. The suit's IQ combined with your IQ should be enough to get you into Mensa. Lycra is smart because it keeps up with the fast-paced cut & thrust of the business world and makes the transition from day to night without losing its razor-sharp smartness. It is definitely more intelligent than, say, lame' which is embarrassingly loud and ditzy or corduroy which is dense and simple. However it is debatable whether lycra is smarter than plaid, the latter due to its remarkable stealth and camouflage abilities being a favourite among tiny ninjas.

Adjustable height shoe


When Eve gave the forbidden apple to Adam, God didn't just punish her and the rest of womankind with childbirth pains. He also made sure that during their lifetimes, all women will be tempted by beautiful shoes but the beauty of the shoes would be directly proportional to the pain of wearing them. To hobble to and from work in devastatingly gorgeous 4-inch stilettos that gradually fill up with blood during the day. Such is a woman's lot. To accept defeat and wear clunky sneakers for the commute, exposing us for the frumpy slaves to fashion that God intended us to be. Oh, woe is us!

All is not lost because the scientists has risen to taunt religion once again, by developing adjustable height shoes to suit all kinds of terrain. Coupled with a Wonderbra, this versatile tool will give you the extra boost for those tough boardroom negotiations. There is, however, the small problem of the colour. Out of the 7 million colours distinguishable to the human eye, the brilliant inventors selected the one particular shade that doesn't match anything else. Well played, God.

Magic Cone


Dear sisters, due to the victorious struggles of heroines before us, we have gained entry into previously male-only arenas like the pub and the stock exchange. Now it's time to claim one of the final remaining male bastions, the male toilets. You've heard in snatches of hushed conversation about all the secret men's business that goes on in there. It is over the urinal where promotions, raises and opportunities are discussed, and unwashed hands are shaken over lucrative side-deals. In short, if you want to be treated like a man, you need to pee like a man. And now dear sisters, by handing you the secret of the powerful Magic Cone, I am also handing you the golden key to the executive washroom. The tutorial is fuss-free and incredibly easy to follow, no need to shake it off or tuck it back in your pants!