Monday, December 20

Rejected Muppets

Taaaaaall boots! Everyone's wearing them from chi-chista Maggie Cheung to this nonplussed puppy. However there's an alarming incidence of designer boots on sale this winter that look like the rejected creations of Jim Henson. Who better to review these boots then the geriatric balcony snarkers of the Muppet Show, Statler and Waldorf.

STATLER: Bring it on!
WALDORF: Oh, it's been brought.


STATLER: Not so much a rejected muppet as a casualty in Watership Down.
WALDORF: Why is it staring at me? I'm scared. Hold me.
STATLER: For god's sake, we're not Bert and Ernie.
WALDORF: It's just put me a whole footstep closer to death's door.
STATLER: Lucky you. You might not get to review the rest of these things.
WALDORF: I'd laugh but that would suggest I found that funny.

Michael Kors

STATLER: The more I look, the more it doesn't get any better.
WALDORF: Uh oh, looks like somebody stole the pig's crimping iron again.
STATLER: Crimping and crepe soles, the tools of the devil indeed.
WALDORF: I remember it tried out for the Electric Mayhem Band.
STATLER: I'm surprised Animal didn't try and hump it to death.
WALDORF: Which is exactly what happened.

STATLER: Oh sweet baby Jesus, what the hell is that? I think I just peed my pants. Full bowel leakage too.
WALDORF: Thank god for Depends undergarments and my non-existent sense of smell.
STATLER: Since when was there ever a Yeti on the show anyway?
WALDORF: Abominable snowman.
STATLER: My sentiments exactly.
WALDORF: Do you think they will let me take it home? It'll go nicely with my mirrored ceilings.

Spirit Fingers is nominated the Best Asian Newcomer 2004 and Funniest Blog categories of the Asia Blog Awards (voting is allowed once per day in each category). Spirit Fingers has pretty much squandered the lead on cheap shoes and even cheaper liquor. So if you want to vote for a mediocre blog that offers little in the way of quality, then go right ahead and vote for SPIRIT FINGERS!


At 11:53 PM, Blogger j-a said...

yeah, i could never work out why anyone would want to wear boots that would give them bigfoot legs.

At 7:50 AM, Blogger Jon said...

I've been searching the streets, and have yet to see many women in tall boots. It's all Manolo's and Prada, of the heel variety.

At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yr blog is not as good as Dr Emer's. He deserves to win.

At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first pair looks like a reject from the M. Bison / Vega Street Fighter 2 collection.

As for the third pair, I would feel bad wearing something that required a Lhasa Apso to be skinned for its creation.

At 5:45 PM, Blogger Kate said...

Korea has this short skirt and moon boot thing going on, which, while not as ornate, looks just as strange.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger Amelia said...

Ah yes, I love the Michael Kors boot.... so very me, sometimes I just want to prance about like a cart horse.

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