Monday, April 11

Sly Moves



Looking to get fantastically fit this summer? Sly Moves, a new fitness program by Sylvester Stallone is now available for pre-order. You will learn the secrets to a better body through "Rambo pulldowns", "Rocky chins", possibly even "Tango and Cash curls" and "Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot presses".

His strict diet and exercise regime has enabled Sly to maintain peak physical condition. Arguably, he would now still be able to perform the gruelling physical shoots that made up so much of his early film career. Which makes sense given that customers who have pre-ordered Sly Moves also bought The System: How to Get Laid! by Roy Valentine.

Plans are underway for a separate beauty book which teaches you makeup skills such as how to use the same shade of blush and lipgloss as your wife.

Personally I was surprised that Sly needed to put in so much work into looking good at 58. All this time, I thought it was entirely due to good genes.

8 Comments:

At 9:52 PM, Blogger prettynyc said...

After plastic surgery, both of their faces fall in the same distorted Miss Moffit way. Great catch!

 
At 1:06 AM, Blogger smudgi3 said...

are u like, finally back??

 
At 5:27 AM, Anonymous jeff said...

i love jackie stallone

 
At 8:38 AM, Blogger Deodand said...

I wonder what she looks like in her own mind?

 
At 12:40 PM, Anonymous La Cabrita said...

Well done, Spirit Fingers. I have been awaiting your return.

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Marie said...

Speaking of genes: I wonder whether he inherited his mother's rumpology genes as well...

 
At 2:45 AM, Blogger Marie said...

Supposedly his mum claims to be psychic and goes on television to promote her ability. You'd think that if she was so psychic she could have foreseen that she would look like that now. Sweet Jesus!! She's had a lot of work done, and none of the good kind. Ick!

 
At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That picture of Jackie is very unkind.
Atmikha

 

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