Wednesday, July 13

Opportunities abound

First Agent Provocateur landed in Hong Kong, now Victoria's Secret is launching its frilly lacy fluffly unmentionables into China. This sexy onslaught upon our shores will be welcomed by the millions of Chinese who are addicted to playing Pink Panty Poker.

It's all just part of a recent upsurge in sexiness around the country. The good citizens of China have realised that they are serious about being a developed country they're going to have to start dressing like one. Pretty soon, we could be having our own troupe of Pussycat Dolls who perform burlesque routines to state-approved tunes!

In fact, opportunities abound for Chinese women who are willing to show a bit of skin. They can find now gainful employment providing shade at race meets or partially blinding prospective investors at real estate fairs.

The months of July and August are especially promising because they bring long, hot days and half price entry at amusement parks. Bear in mind that the article was written in a disapproving tone of a prude who needs to spend more time with Robert Altman in order to appreciate legs that have barely turned nineteen. I mean, it's not as if anybody can see up your skirt when you're speeding way up high up on a rollercoaster.

If you don't mind travelling further afield then the Byeonsan Bikini beach is offering 10% less for wearing 90% less. The Byeonsan Bikini beach, where men are outnumbered 5 to 1 by women in identical bikinis and identical fake Louis Vuitton beach towels.

Unfortunately, there still exists a lack of benefits for men who are similarly inclined. So much for equal opportunity. Unless you're in Mongolia where skimpy male attire gets you into all the right places.


At 5:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

frilly i can take. lacy on a benevolent day. but i draw the line at fluffly. unmentionable indeed! hear me, hong kong, and reject the influx of fluffly before you all go to hell in a fluffl-filled handbasket!

At 9:02 AM, Blogger Blandwagon said...

"...partially blinding prospective investors at real estate fairs"

I swear the girl at the front is thinking 'Must. Kill. The. President.'

At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Alex said...

Well, the umbrella girls are cute, but that ain't exactly Valentino Rossi now, is it?

At 1:15 PM, Blogger j-a said...

eurgh. the last picture really killed me.

do you think hooters in shanghai will try to take any of these girls?


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