Friday, August 5

Do you IPEX?

The Victoria's Secret IPEX demi bra is the world's most advanced bra. I know so because Gisele Bundchen explained to me, while writhing about in her underwear, how it took 2 years of patent-pending technology to create something that would provide seamless and maximum nipple coverage. It is a bra that is so high-tech that it could easily make your breasts redundant.

However due to "problems with fit and lack of sex appeal" sales haven't been as huge as expected. The lack of consumer enthusiasm has prompted Victoria's Secret to come up with a new advertising campaign. The technology remains the same but this time around there are even more models writhing about in their underwear.

They've also trotted out Gisele for a launch of the "demi" version but instead of injecting sex appeal she turned up in an amorphous mass of fabric, just like at the Academy Awards.



Perhaps it's because she spends so much time on barely naked photoshoots that she just needs to let loose and cover up once in a while. It's the exact opposite of what nuns must go through. However it's probably not going to help the folks at Victoria's Secret who have yet to learn how to market a bra. To do so you must first create desire.



Secondly, and more importantly, you must create fear. Fear that without the bra, you'll have what she's having.

11 Comments:

At 2:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too right! If I saw Tyne Daly writhing with rapturous paroxysms of pleasure, I might be tempted. Note to V.S. -- Find someone with breasts to sell your bras. Maybe consider taking a page out of the Title 9 catalog.
Atmikha

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger Vixen said...

LMAO!!! Too funny! I have to agree that you do have a valid point. Those models just don't do it. And the IPEX is really wack anyway...

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Eve said...

Poor Meg Ryan... is that a hernia or is she stealing a lemon?

 
At 4:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ipex? Sounds like something from the chemist's. Hemroid cream or something. I'm not stuffing my girls into something that sounds like arse gel.

Re: Meg Ryan's boobs. As the fine ladies of fug say, my boobs hurt just looking at her boobs. Re: Meg. Meg is not an adult woman's name. Strap those puppies in and call yourself Megan for pity's sake.

 
At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anne Arkham said...

Tits like that and she gets her LIPS done?

 
At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not her MOUTH lips, duh.

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Serrabee said...

Why does Victoria's Secret try to market "is the world's most advanced bra" to MEN, anyway? What do they care? Most men I know can't tell the difference in silk & satin, much less comfort & sex appeal.
And ya know, after a B-cup there IS a difference.

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger j-a said...

oh my god. is that really meg ryan's breast or is she sticking something else into her ribs??

 
At 1:46 PM, Anonymous kensey said...

kensey said....

is gisele the model in all the ipex commercials??? is she available for a film project?

is someone gonna answer me?

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous kensey said...

is gisele the model in all the ipex commercials??? is she available for a film project?

is someone gonna answer me?

12:48 am chicago
check out my body art....please if you think V.S. should use my work...tell them about me
http://www.kenseysartworld.com
if you're a fan of the models come to my site. want to help make a movie....comon
i was inspired to film by IPEX.

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous kensey said...

is gisele the model in all the ipex commercials??? is she available for a film project?

is someone gonna answer me?

12:48 am chicago
check out my body art....please if you think V.S. should use my work...tell them about me
http://www.kenseysartworld.com
if you're a fan of the models come to my site. want to help make a movie....comon
i was inspired to film by IPEX.

 

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