Do you IPEX?

The Victoria's Secret IPEX demi bra is the world's most advanced bra. I know so because Gisele Bundchen explained to me, while writhing about in her underwear, how it took 2 years of patent-pending technology to create something that would provide seamless and maximum nipple coverage. It is a bra that is so high-tech that it could easily make your breasts redundant.

However due to "problems with fit and lack of sex appeal" sales haven't been as huge as expected. The lack of consumer enthusiasm has prompted Victoria's Secret to come up with a new advertising campaign. The technology remains the same but this time around there are even more models writhing about in their underwear.

They've also trotted out Gisele for a launch of the "demi" version but instead of injecting sex appeal she turned up in an amorphous mass of fabric, just like at the Academy Awards.



Perhaps it's because she spends so much time on barely naked photoshoots that she just needs to let loose and cover up once in a while. It's the exact opposite of what nuns must go through. However it's probably not going to help the folks at Victoria's Secret who have yet to learn how to market a bra. To do so you must first create desire.



Secondly, and more importantly, you must create fear. Fear that without the bra, you'll have what she's having.