Give me some of that Western influence
This Valentine's Day give her the dumbest thing you can think of. That's right, because women will put anything in their mouths. While Valentine's Day isn't traditionally an Asian festival, I must say that we have been getting into the swing of things. Normally we celebrate love by praying that we don't end up with a consumptive hunchback who can't afford to buy his lover loads of designer handbags.
Embossed roses have made a splash in the market (just to make sure you don't mistake a bouquet of red roses on this romantic of days as a message of HATE). It's only a matter of time before we start embossing messages of love and fidelity on our body parts, only to realise that laser removal is painful and more expensive than a divorce with no pre-nup involved.
In their weakened, eager-to-please state, men start falling prey enmasse to the wedding trap. Statistics show that Valentine's day is the most popular trap used by women after accidental pregnancy. On any other day a life commitment would seem inappropriate but today is all about showing her a good time even if you have to put on a tuxedo and march down the altar to your impending doom.
As pointed out by the The Bling Blog many couples are choosing to give each other the gift of more pronounced, Caucasian features. Again this is an idea that was popularised in the West by happy customers such as David Gest & Liza Minelli, the Jackson family and most Hollywood couples over the age of 25.
What big steps we have taken to embrace the rampant commercialism of this special event. Now, if only we could overcome our fear of intimacy.