Thursday, February 9

Kiss the V-girls

The V-girls ( have landed in Hong Kong, just in time for Valentine's Day! A mere investment of HK$38 a month gives 60 minutes of playtime to indulge your basest geek fantasies. It sounds more affordable than paying for a hottie you met on Myspace to fly over and crash with you only to find that she is your grandmother, no? But first let's get all the niggly fine print out of the way.

What a crushing blow to the very testicles of geekdom. Doesn't seem worth the time or money after all, does it? Conversation, companionship, commitment...bah! That's what puppies and kittens and bunnies are for! How can any healthy virtual relationship progress without some one-handed typing? More importantly, how is this business model going to compete with the seedy massage parlours offering buy 1 happy ending get 1 free?

Having laid the groundrules, it is clear, however, that some form of intimacy is allowed. "Helping" her to bathe has just got be a euphemism for something dirty rather than cleansing just as "helping" her to shop indirectly means being her cash mule.

Or maybe the reason why they can't have intercourse with you is because they prefer the company of each other. They're e-lesbians armed with suntan oil and camcorders! And I don't think anyone would mind paying to watch that.

It is inevitable that the day will come when men find human females so abhorrent that they will replace us with their artificial Stepford-like creations. Until then, they will just have to make do with a Tamagotchi that has grown breasts and requires assisted bubble baths.

Another blog to visit: blah- boring the web since 2002


At 7:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been lurking around here, mostly, but let me just say, you're just a joy to read! I hope you're going to come out with a book already! And yeah, you're delicious even when (or maybe particularly when!) writing about creepy, nausea-inducing subjects like the V-girls (is that for real? blech!) At any rate, you never fail to entertain me. Thanks!

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

So, what's the point of them again?

Oh, that's right, to remove money from the wallets of idiots.


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