Wednesday, February 15

Sports Illustrated synopsis



Meet the $30 million bikini. How can something so expensive look so cheap? Well the cost of airbrushing must have skyrocketed lately. You half expect James Caan to come storming in and yelling at Delinda to put some clothes on. It doesn't look that way but there's supposed to be 150 carats worth of diamonds in that baby. One hundred and fifty. That's more than Molly Sims' weight + her IQ + my IQ.

I'm actually quite pleased about this turn of events because I thought she would never be putting her body to good use again. It was only recently that she seemed so determined to become a serious actress or a half-serious nun.


For more indepth analysis into Molly Sims' jewels, you can purchase the latest edition of Sports Illustrated. You can't miss it - it's the one where 8 of the most beautiful women in the world are melded together to form a heaving mass of sand and sexy (they seem like they are cold, hence the huddling together, but in those positions we don't know how cold exactly).


Of course it's all also available on the website for your instant gratification. This year's edition promises Heidi Klum in nothing! but! paint! and Maria Sharapova in her ever declining trajectory towards Anna Kournikova's current destination.

All the old favourites are also there - Elle McPherson, Rachel Hunter, Rebecca Romijn ex-Stamos and frankly they all could stand to use a bit of that John Frieda Blonde Hair Repair. Honestly, check out Elle's shoot. Even the Lion King looked better when he was going through the trauma of [WARNING SPOILER!] patricide. There's lots more to explore on this site so I'm sure I'll be visiting again when I have an idle moment at work and need some new desktop pictures. Finally it is worth mentioning the 360 degree views player. It's the only section where you get to see totally topless shots.

2 Comments:

At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Susanna said...

That hair on Elle is the classic "flash-fried seaweed on a rock" do. The only thing missing is the green tint. She's still mighty beautiful, though.

And the diamond bikini is just awful, you're right. That's the cheapest-looking use of $30 mil I have ever seen. And I've seen the interior of D. Trump's penthouse on "The Apprentice" on TV. This is far worse. It looks like the clearance page in the Hustler catalog.

You wonder if a poor little carbon particle knows that's one of his options tens of thousands of years down the kimberlite pipe. And if he knew, wouldn't he rather take the shorter route and be a lump of coal?

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger hazela said...

ohmygod..Elle's hair....wonder how long it took them to get it that way...she should stick to what she does best...designing great bra's and the best damn g-strings in the world.

 

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